all about her.

2011-03-03T20:24:00.001+08:00

moving on.

2011-03-03T18:36:00.002+08:00

fine, i admit. a WHOLE big part of me still yearns for him. im just not OVER him yet. its just plain hard, dont ask why. maybe i'll not even get over him. i mean, it's like the BEST relationship ever, i swear. each time me and alis start a conversation about the guys, somehow we would just laugh off about things we talked about. though we feel pain, we still know that we love the guys. but it's just .. not meant to be. not that we want to brag or whatsoever, but it's like seriously the best of the best !

i just wish that it would somehow cross his mind to read my blog, and he would know how i feel. then he would reach back for me, and .. WELL, its just wishes ! i know. AIDHA, wake up from fairytale land ! man, this just sucks. hoping for something that has long gone. i know it would never ever never ever return. but i just wished miracle could happen right now. i wished he would realised how much i love him, and come back NOW. *smirks* but i know it all aint happening.

life's unfair. thats it. full stop. it's just plain unfair. i should just stop hoping for everything to be what it used to. i can no longer hope for it to be that way. maybe, someone should knock some sense into me. SHOUT at me, saying that he's no longer around to support me. SHOUT, saying that he no longer love me. SHOUT, saying that he's not worth my tears. tell me all this. maybe then, i would forget him. TOTALLY. ugh, seriously.

im crying yet again. GOSHHHH ! kbai.

crying.

2011-02-28T18:30:00.002+08:00

im still crying.because you dont care.

well, [F]s awesome is over.

2011-02-27T14:36:00.002+08:00

*cries* we broke up. yeah, no longer awesome. its over. ive cried buckets, and im tired. but each time i got reminded of him, i start to cry yet again. i admit, he was a big part of me. back then, i was super duper happy. but with him gone, it seems as though my happiness went along with him. i may be smiling, but nobody knows the manner of my heart now. its all shattered into pieces. i trusted him, THAAAAAT much. and there he go, flipping it around like it didnt mean a thing. he has been the best ive ever had, i swear. but he's just not meant to be mine. i admit, i was super angry and pissed when he told me that he wants a break. but i know that i can stay angry at him not for long. because thats his decision, which i have to respect. of course, i still am disheartened over the current situation. i wished i could have turn the time back, and undo things that happened. I WISH ! or maybe, i wished that all these were just nightmares and i would wakeup from them soon. i didnt really expect it to turn out this way. i still loved him, a big part of me. but i know, that it'd go nowhere. no matter how hard i wished, it would still be gone and never coming back. but it just hurts damn muchhh.

kbai. it hurts so bad, im crying yet again.

thats the story.

2011-02-27T14:01:00.006+08:00

one :

this is us. or maybe

'was'.

pinkies.

you held my hands tight.

hugged me tight.

passionate kiss.

then, we stopped talking.

and i realised i was alone.

you were not around anymore.

avoiding me.

heartless.

all fake, all lies.

''im okay'' not.

moving on ?

*crying*

memories hurt.

can i ..

GOODBYE, dearest.

2011-02-25T22:47:00.002+08:00

''maybe part of loving is learning to let go.''

'' where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which i find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. i miss you like hell. ''

i just wanted you here.

2011-02-20T20:07:00.002+08:00

and so, another week has passed. okay, i didnt say this previously, but im a happy girl (: hehe, after that 'ugly' incident between me and him was over. we got to our normal self. and yeah, i missed him of course (: after that, he fell sick yet again. on thursday, after school, i went down to tampines with the girls to meet him, before going home for sister's OCP. i had so much fun, laughing and talking to him. he found out that the girls were at the playground opposite his house, and shouted across to disturb them. i started laughing hysterically and, yeah thats me. HAHA, he was just epic. okay, and so. okay okay, i cant wait for this week to be over ! seriously, ive got reunion dinner with the netballers on friday, a date with bby to beach road on saturday, and no madrasah on sunday ! yes ah (:

happy ?

2011-02-18T20:57:00.000+08:00

come back to me.

2011-02-12T08:45:00.002+08:00

ive been waiting for almost three days, for you to text me. however, all that wait was just torturing. ive been texting, and little did you reply. in fact, you didnt reply at all. just where have you been my dear ? you never knew how i felt, on those days you werent texting me. sometimes i feel like ramping myself onto the wall, and just feel the pain. at least then, my head would be about the pain rather than about you. or maybe, i could have just simply forget about you. and not text you, not remember a single thing about you. but i just realised that you're all over me. on my phone, in my wallet, in my file. where are you not around ? definitely the second option is out. because it's just hard to get you out of my head. maybe the first option would be best, but i just wouldnt know what reason to give my parents if they got know about it. ugh, i just dont wanna say anymore. ive had enough says. even though i dont wanna give this all up, even is you did. i have no strength to charge forward. i could only wait for opponent, attacking me first.only then i would decided what to do. and so, i would wait for YOU to come talking to me, and only then i would be back to what i was.

all i could say is that i really really really really miss youhhhh. kbai.

call me !

2011-02-10T19:19:00.005+08:00

i seriously miss you like hell ! fuck you, stop making me hate myself for missing you too much. im not concentrating much in school, because im thinking too much about you. like where the hell are you, right now ? at least tell me if youre busy, or that you cant reply because youre out of credit. fuck you. stop making me worried la can ? what the hell. here i am texting you. but there you are, not replying all texts. like seriously, at least could you tell by calling or something. at least then, i wont be worried ?! you'll never know what im doing, each time i waited for you to text. ever since yesterday baby, you're doing this. i dont know whats happening, but i hope there's nothing really bad. i hope its just my imagination and a wishful part of me. you really know how to make me feel this way kan ? grrrr.

im already tired of crying. but yet, here i am crying again. ugh. kbai.

i love you.

2011-02-06T21:23:00.004+08:00

do you remember the first time you look into my eyes ?

the first time we shared our first kiss ?

the first time we hugged tightly ?

the first time you surprised me and hugged me from behind ?

the first time i lie on your lap ?

the first time we got all awkward about something ?

the first time we sat side by side, doing nothing but enjoying each other's company ?

you're the one i love baby.

and you're the best thing that's ever been mine !

i miss 'best friend'.

2011-02-02T22:21:00.001+08:00

i am really missing him badly. )':

2011-02-02T20:13:00.003+08:00

Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.

You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt to lose.

You meet thousands of people, and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person, and your life is changed. Forever.

A successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible

There’s a love that only you can give, a smile that only your lips can show, a twinkle that can only be seen in your eyes and my life that only you can complete.

Love waits for one thing, the right moment. And the right moment is always when i'm together with you right by your side.

They say when two people are meant for each other, no matter how long they got separated or how far they drift apart, they'll always found their way back to one another.

break ups.

2011-01-28T11:47:00.002+08:00

we're not a couple anymore. he stopped it all. and so we're friends. he takut my parents would come to know about us, and scold me very rabak. he doesn't want that. and he wants me to focus on my upcoming Os. he wants me to do my best for it all. well, i was a little upset over it because i swear it was very sudden. i didnt know why, but i just cried the whole night. until my eyes went all red and swollen. even after we got baik with each other, each time he said something about 'us', i started tearing yet again. im weak, especially when it comes to relationships. i can never deal much with it, because i am never strong mentally.

ive been putting up strong fronts in front of people. but in fact, deep down in me, im crying and shattering. ive been all normal, but nobody knows what i have been feeling deep down. i cannot go on, i just wished that it'll all go by quickly. *fingers crossed*

i still love you dear. no matter what. kbai.

kisses

2011-01-25T18:24:00.002+08:00

i miss baby THIS much, or maybe MOREEEE ! heh, kay kay. imnot posting an essay or anyth. im down with flu, and fever. grr, i feel so awful right now. and i still have training tomorrow. ftw. i wished i could stay home. hmm, im sleeping early today. i dont care xD

kbai.

damn shaaaaaaag.

2011-01-21T20:36:00.003+08:00

im officially done with the week. i can no longer take the week on. all i need is rest rest rest ! i wanna sleep, badly ! HAHA, damn shag lah. haiyaaaa. anyway, school has been aye-okay. not bad, but just damn shag. i just cant wait to sleep tonight ! oh oh oh, im going out with bby tomorrow, yeay ! hehe, im going off to sentosa to 'celebrate' his belated birthday (: teeheeheeh, its been long, i know. but only now,im free and he's free too. so, yeah. and so, im so tired now. so, i'll stop posting for today and i'll continue soon. maybe tomorrow night (:

hehe. kbai.

hug me, pleaseee.

2011-01-19T21:09:00.001+08:00

i just need a hug from you, baby.

dedicated to dearest boyf (:

2011-01-17T17:07:00.004+08:00

to --> dearest boyfriend, Muhammad Firdaus (:

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY, my dearest baby ! the long awaited 17 january has finally come, HAHA. so, i just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday dear (: it's been a wonderful 3 months knowing you, and almost a month being your girlf. i enjoy every single bits of it all. well, thank you or allowing me to be a part of you, i guess. HAHA. hmm, stay as cheerful as you are kay dear ? i mean, just stay the way you are.

you've been the best, so far. i swear, from the bottom of my heart. thanks for spending your time talking to me, sms-ing me, chatting with me. i know, at times, i may be a bore. but know that i've put in my effort to be the best girlf. however, i'll definitely put in more effort after this, just so that we both would get the most out of this relationship. i love you baby (:

11 more days to our first chapter, and just 5 more days to our outing. i caaaant wait ! i miss you baby, a whole bunch. i want a hug, pleaseeeeee ! [ey ey, birthday you, i yang mintak ey.] hehe, and and and. you owe me a treat. HAHA, kay kay. im just gonna end this here, lest it'll go on longer.

'' to give me all your love is all i ever asked cause, what you dont understand is .

i'd catch a grenade for ya.

throw my hand on a blade for ya.

i'd jump in front of a train for ya.

you know i'd do anything for ya.

i would go through all this pain.

take a bullet straight through my brain.

yes, i would die for you baby. ''

happy ''awesome'' birthday yet again, enjoy today to the fullest. never regret a single moment of today, kay ? HAHA, i love you awesome. mwaah mwaah (:

XOXO ;

dearest girlf.

ive nothing to saaaaaaay.

2011-01-16T22:05:00.002+08:00

cries

2011-01-15T23:32:00.003+08:00

i dont know why, but i just feel all weird up. my morning was alright. by afternoon, i was texting him like normal. then, come night time. he texted, saying that he was unable to text anymore. he didnt say the reason, in fact this was all he said : '' i tkleh message lagi. anything, kol i. or i kol you. night, tc. '' thats it. not a single of something he used to say, not a single ''iloveyou''. why why why ? thats all that is playing in my mind, ever since i came back home.

i mean, the least he could do was say the reason of why he couldnt text anymore. but he didnt. no matter what i texted, he didnt call back. im really hoping that whatever is in my head right now, are all just a part of my imagination ; and that nothing will ever come true. sigh, imma pray hard.

i dont know if you'll read this. but, this is all that i could do to release all that's in me. bby, remember what i told you once ? that i'll never leave you, no matter what. you promised me that too. i hope it's still intact. i miss you THAAAAAAAAAAT much and more, dude. text me soon, somehow. loveeeeee you bby ):

i miss baby, THAT much.

2011-01-15T22:58:00.002+08:00

i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you.

Janji-Janjimu ~ Aryl Suerylski [with lyrics]

2011-01-10T20:56:00.000+08:00

1st week of school ;

2011-01-06T17:56:00.002+08:00

i miss our dates.

i miss your hand.

i miss your hug.

i miss your kisses.

i miss everything about you.

and most of all,

i miss you bby ):

school have been alright (: but lots of classes requires us to move from a place to another. grr. HAHA, teachers have been talking about 'O' level. and malay paper will be on the 30th may. very fast ey ? HAH, serious no joke. cannot believe it, that it'll all be that fast. well well, im just gonna have to be prepared.

okay okay, tomorrow's my last CCA tryouts in CVSS. im gonna miss disturbing all the sec 1s. hehe, bad senior. HAHA, but it's all a whole bunch of fun fun and more fun. i'll miss CNBT. seriously. oh, and about the northzone team. im really hoping that im in *prays hard* imean,its already the last year, so i really wanna be part of it, for one last time XD kay kay, im going off already. not wanting to spend much time here. im hungry too !

p.s : i love you bby. kbai.

love story ;

2011-01-03T20:21:00.000+08:00

i'll miss internet.

2011-01-03T19:36:00.002+08:00

okay okay. no more goofing and fooling around. school starts tomorrow, officially. gosh, im really hoping that it'll all go well. *prays hard* hehe, time will pass by fast when you're in school. pejam celik pejam celik, tawu tawu je dah O level. grrr, am i even ready ? heh, whatever it is, i have to be ready. i cant let everyone down, because everyone pins high hopes on me. i have to do well, in order to prove them that im not just talks. wish me luck ey !

baby ;

i'll miss you so much. though we may not be able to see much of each other. though we may not get to text each other that much anymore, i hope that you'll at least call me once every two to three days kay ? hehe. at least then, terubat sikit rindu i. hehe XD okay okay. but whatever it is, never think that i stopped loving you even for a second. because you're always etched in my mind, and never fading away (: love you much much baby *hugs* i miss you already.

and so, my blog may be dead. very soon. i'll only be able to update once in a while. well, i wouldnt wanna spend time working on this, when i could use that time to study harder for my Os. hehe, dont miss me. 'cos i'll catch up real soon (:

kbai.

love ;

2011-01-02T21:20:00.000+08:00

click to read what's written (:

i miss my dearest boyf.

2011-01-01T21:09:00.003+08:00

i miss baby so much.

was texting baby tadi, and he talked about school. and i cried again. HAHA, weak sey aku. hmm, and so anyway. we've compromised. we've talked about this ever since that day. he'll give time off for me to study and all. during school, we'll not text. after school, i'll either text him or call him. when i'm studying, he'll not disturb me. we'll meet only once a month or so. and i've promised that i'll give my all for my Os. WOW, *sigh* there's many things we really did compromised on. and we were talking ;

fir : you remember what you told me ayg ? you will study hard. and kite give time.

me : i ingat la bby. im just hoping that all will go well. maybe the thought of being away form you for a while may push me towards success.

fir : yup ayg. hari2 kite msg kay ? msg kejap pun jadi la ayg.

me : but i'll miss you like hell ):

fir : no ayg. you wont. kan ade gambar i. hehe.

me : HAHA, pandai je la youuuu.

fir : haha, mataey sape ? hehe.

me : heh, mataey i jugak XD

HAHA. aku sayang mataey aku yang satu ni. im just missing every part of him right now. kbai.

dearest ;

2010-12-30T20:02:00.004+08:00

'' tengok sane buat ape ? bukan nak tengok i. hmpf, tkpeee.'' - then merajuk.

*puts hand over my shoulder* '' abeh bukan nak hug i balek ? '' - then merajuk.

'' youuu. betul im the first guy that you hug and kiss ? ''

'' abeh stare stare. you nak kaaaaaan ? '' then laughs. ( p.s : bby, you should know what this is about. )

that's the few of his favourite sayings. HAHA, he likes to say this few lines often. funny yet lovely chap (: i like spending time with him, listening to his nonsense ( like how he would call it ) . HAHA, but seriously. i love him so much, that i wouldnt know what to do without him. he's been there for me, regardless of the downs and ups. thanks a whole bunch, bby. you've been an amazing guy, till now. and thats how i like it (: stay the way you are kaaaaay ? love you hunney.

'' i tell my friends about you. i wonder if you told your friends about me '' - twitter.

wonderfuuuuuuuul ;

2010-12-30T12:01:00.002+08:00

28122010. lovely date, with bby. woke up dang early, to get things ready. iron clothes, and siapkan bag. then, went out at 1210 hours. thinking i could reach there early, but then .. grr, he got there first. HAHA, so went to city hall to meet him. when i reached city hall, i tried finding him, but i couldnt see through the sea of people. so i called him, trying to locate him. only then after walking around, that i saw him in black. again. HAHA. actually, i recognised him from his cap. hehe, from city hall. we walked to marina square through citylink mall. once sampai kat marina square, we went straight to the theatre to buy the tickets for yogi bear, before it is all snapped up. hehe, so the counter girl gave us couple seats, center but last row form behind. there was no choice given, so we just took it. heh, after that. went to walk at marina before going to suntec city. once reached suntec, we walked for a while before looking for the way to fountain of wealth. then, we sat down, looking at the fountain. talking about various stuffs. heh.

once it was 1430 hours plus plus, we went back to marina square. not wanting to be late maa heh. so, when we got back to marina square. bought something light to eat before going in the theatre. then, after buying, we sat down for a while since the cinema was not opened yet. when we went in, i swear it was empty. not many people were around, heh. so, when the lights went off, i laid my head off his shoulders. and when a couple came to sit beside us, we quickly betulkan our seating position, and pretend nothing happened. HAHA, so then. when the show started, then we did what we normally did XD halfway through, i got cold. very cold, since i wore something sleeveless. grr, he offered his sweater since mine is in my bag and his is just in between us. HAHA, sorry for using yours yet again bby. then, when the show is all done. we waited for a while before going out of the theatre. and like finally we were out of the cold place !

so then, we walked from theatre back into marina square for a very late lunch, and early dinner i could say. heh, so we went to long john silver to eat. HAHA, he was *insertword*. heh, after eating. we went around to look at MP3s, and earpiece. after that, we wanted to walk at the floating platform. but then, it was closed. so, then we walked at helix bridge and went into marina bay sands mall. it's hugeeeeeeee ! there's an ice skating rink too. WOW ! and little did i know that. HAHA. we joked around, started pushing and tickling each other. HAHA. then we saw the casino, and many many other shops that we have never seen before. ohh ohh ;

fir: whuuuut ? bread and butter ? HAHHA.

me: ape yang kelakar nye ? *laughs*

fir: yelaaa. cam gitu, i pun nak buat ah. ''waffle and kaya''.

me: *gives a weird face*

fir: abeh orang masuk ingatkan kedai makan, rupenye kedai baju. *laughs laughs*

then, form marina bay sands mall. we went back to esplanade, before walking to one fullerton. then he brought me to this sheltered place, where we sat down, chatted and enjoyed each other's company (: and then suddenly, the mood changed a little when he asked this one question. heh, and so then. we knew what happened. but i like whatever happened there XD at 1930 hours plus plus, we went off from there since it was getting late and i needa get back home before 9. so, we walked back to esplanade in the rain and went to take a bus, thinking that there's 147 for me to go home. heh, but there wasnt. and we waited for almost half an hour, for 162 to come. but it didnt, and we got bored that we started walking around the busstop. i almost turned mad, waiting for the bus. bby tried coaxing me that the bus will really come real soon. HAHA,and it didnt still. so,in the end, we took 57 to sim lim. then i thought, that sim lim has 147. but me being smart pants, i forgot that there's no 147 there. grrr, then in the end. i took 23 back with bby to tampines, before taking the taxi back home from his house area. in the bus, my dad called. asking where i was, since it was already 2115 hours. dad scolded me, and after i hung up. i started crying, i didnt know why.bby was shocked, but he kept wiping my tears away and telling me not to cry. HAHA, sorry bby. i didnt want to, but i guess. i couldnt stop myself from doing so XD and he kept repeating that he's sorry. but it wasnt his fault, that i got scolded. i mean, i should have known better, where got my direct bus home.

when we reached his house area, we got down. and he helped me hail a cab. then, he called me saying that he will keep me company throughout my journey home (: so, then i reached home around 2200 hours plus plus, with papa still awake. grr, i thought he would still be mad. but he didnt say a thing. phewwwwwww ! then after bathing, phone went gaga. and when i asked for a spare phone, papa scolded. ftw, HAHA. but then, for a while only. so, its alright (: then off to bed, because i was super sleepy.

thanks bby, for that day. its the best, among the other dates (: i love you bby, and i miss you muchhhhhhhh !

smiles widely

2010-12-28T09:24:00.002+08:00

and so, yesterday's trip to sentosa was fun fun fun ! had some quiet time alone (: the kids were a little cute yesterday, heh. after the trip to sentosa, went off to makan at haig road. while papa finding for parking space, bby called me. i thought it was my sister, so i just picked up la. when i heard a guy's voice, i was a little scared because mama and papa may heard my convo with bby. HAHA, so. when i told him i was in the car, he quickly said , 'kay kay, bye bye.' then texted me. so, then. after eating early dinner, we went home. i was already sleepy when i reached home. but i still went online. HEH, then texted bby. he was down with flu ever since sunday. poor him ): told him to get ample of rest, although he was at work yesterday.

and so, anyway. im going off to watch yogi bear today, yay ! with him (: p.s : we're going marina today, no more bugis, orchard and PS for us. HAHA, ive had enough playtime at those places. so,we're meeting at city hall at 1330 hours today. will be home late today, because .. XD teeheeheeh. i shall update what happened tomorrow. stay tuned kids !

p.s: almost down with flu too ): kbai.

done with birthday present (:

2010-12-26T11:48:00.003+08:00

so, yesterday was christmas. and yesterday i met bby, to find his birthday present. yes yes ! and yeah, we met AGAIN at dhoby ghaut. walked at PS again, at orchard AGAIN, and also bugis AGAIN. grrr. we walked there ten thousand of times, ever since we first met. heh XD so, we found his wallet at iluma. instead of buying at either feb 29 or the wallet shop, we went to F.L.Y since he like the wallet there more. HAHA. after buying those things, we went for late lunch at tong seng, again. he ate the same thing, and i ate a different thing (: after that we went to bugis street to find my flats, before we took the bus to tampines. the bus trip was .. ONLY me and him shall know XD hehe, i dont wanna share all that happened ! all i could say was that it was SWEEEEEEEEEET :D we walked around tampines, before we bought his earpiece and my rabbit's things. after which we each went home (: hehe, it was a fun christmas. i swear. thank you bby :D

and so, these coming few days will be just outing after outing. grr, today im going out with my family to go shopping (: tomorrow, im following mama to sentosa ! and tuesday, im out with bby for YOGI BEAR ! yes ah, like i've got lots of plan with family. hehe, i likeeeee ! i cant wait for tomorrow though. sentosa sentosa sentosa ! should be walking around after hours too ! yeay, (:

im out. kbai.

2nd date with bby (:

2010-12-21T14:20:00.002+08:00

and so, 20122010 was my 2nd date with this guy. hehe, i had to go to city hall first to pick things up before i met him. so, we decided to meet at city hall, since we're going to habourfront and since it was on the way for him (: so, i was a little late. hehe, sorry XD then he waited for me, staring into thin air. haha, he didnt even realised i came until he saw my shoe. hah, and i said hello, and gave him a peck. and then i realised he was wearing black too, like me ! macam dah janji jee, padehal tak. haha. then from there, we went outram and then to vivo. actual plan was to walk around vivo, and eat burger king. haha, but in the end, everything changed. HAHA.

so, reached vivo. we searched for atm bank dulu, bby nak kluarkan duit. haha, after that, we searched high and low for burger king. but we couldnt find any. then we settled for mcdonalds, but it was full. then went back to vivo, and wanted to eat LJS. but found burger king instead. heh, XD it was full too. but we managed to find a place. so, i bought the food and he waited at the table with our bags. haha, while eating, he asked if i wanna catch a movie. and he said, watch rapunzel. haha, and i said anything la, since he's paying. heh. so, we checked out GV at vivo. and its selling fast. so, we decided to go to the cathay to catch it. so, we walked and talked and laughed and did many other things (:

when we reached dhoby ghaut, we walked to the cathay. and i realised he likes to pull me across a red-man traffic light. HAHA, and i would always pull him back. hehe. then he told me to buy the 1435 hours ticket for rapunzel. and we reached there at 1433 hours. LOL, smart pants. and there's only the front seats left, so i urged to watch the 1640 hours show. and we sat at the side, first row from behind (: haha, he laaa. i want to sit at the centre, he want to sit at the side and giving reasons. HAHA, bby bby. so i gave in since he's paying. HAHA, then. we decided to go 313 @somerset to see his shoe, since there's still lots of time before the movie start (: so, we walked together, sharing laughters and kisses. then, he showed me the shoe that he had wanted to buy before proceeding to other shopping malls. haha, we bought drinks at lucky plaza before going to Tangs to take air-con. it was a hot day ! then on the way out of Tangs, i saw abang isk. OMG, luckily he never see me. haha, then went to the nearby busstop, to take bus back to the cathay.

so, we alighted outside of this fashion and walked to the cathay. HAHA, and outside there. his friend saw us, walking hand in hand. HAHA, and we kind of went over a little bit to meet, that kind of thing. haha, then he told me that that guy is his 'hindustan' buddy. LOL, then we went off to go to the toilet. before going up, to sit outside the theatre area since it's still quite early. so, we sat and chatted quite a lot. then, when it was 1630 hours, we went in. haha, sat there quietly, enjoying his company beside me (: it wasnt that quiet this time round, we talked more. but at those silent moments, there were several exchanges of kisses and whatsoever. haha, my hand were kind of entangled in his. so it was kind of hard to let it go, unless he lets it go first. LOL. then suddenly he whispered 'i love you'. HAHA, and i turned at him, and said back. and guess what he asked back, 'you nak tido ?' i laughed before i repeated. HAHA, funny laa he. then when the show finished, we went off from the theatre.

i treated him to starbucks (: haha, he didnt want a coffee-based drink, so i bought him chocolate chip cream. he thought i bought two when he saw the price. he was shocked that i only bought one, and it costs me 7 bucks. HAHA, and he sweetly said 'thank you' twice to me. so he happily drank the drink, and offered me at times. haha, after a while, i said i dont wanna drink. and he accused me of FORCING him to drink. padehal, orang belikan untuk dier. HAHA, so then we walked to national library because i needa return my book. then, from there we walked to iluma to take 80 back to hougang. the time spent in the bus with him was .. haha, nice but a BIT awkward still. hehe, but i like it alot.

thanks bby, for the day. i love you, so muchhhhhh :D

we're on a yogi bear movie date next week ! yeay, final outing with bby before school starts (: after that, studies comes first ! hehe, i cant wait for next week :D

back from strawberry land (:

2010-12-21T13:32:00.003+08:00

it was a great trip ! cold but fun (: hehe. thanks mama and papa for the trip !

so, on the night of the trip. i went to beach road for dinner before we went to wait for the bus at golden mile complex. heh, while that. i was sms-ing bby (: and when the bus finally came, i started feeling all bitter and i cried a little when he said to stop sms-ing then. haha, i realised that i started to miss him already then. luckily, i was sitting alone, so i didnt have to face my sister with a teary faced. hehe, no one knew i cried. not even him. hehe. so, all night long. i was sleeping, sleepy sey. i was complaining to bby when the bus arrived late.

so, we reached cameron on the next day at 8 plus. when for breakfast, feeling SUPER cold. haha, almost freezing. for a while i thought i was in some europe country. heh, feeling feeling. so, we reached the hotel at around 10 plus. but couldnt check in just yet. so, we explored the pasar nearby the hotel. so, bought things to eat then went back to hotel to check in (: so, rested for a while before going down again at 1430 hours for agro tour. picked strawberries, and explored many other parts of cameron. wow ! after tour, we had a filling steamboat with free-flow of vegetables ! haha, great or what sey. felt like a kambing for a day. haha, then went home and sleep XD p.s : i missed bby.

woke up when mama called the room. bathed, and went for breakfast. buffet ! fattening sey. haha, then after breakfast went back to room, before going down for a nature tour. fun fun fun ! the tour guide funny. always disturb me and sister. haha, poor me. but very friendly. learnt lots of new things ! good, i like. hehe. after tour, went back hotel to rest. then in the evening, went to the night market for dinner. great great ! had so much talk and laughter with everyone. bonding, yknow. hehe. then went back hotel, had late dinner + supper in mama room. packed stuffs, then went to bed ! p.s : i missed bby, more.

woke up early, and went to bathe before mama called. heh, then went for breakfast. then went back up for last minute checks and packing. then went down to the lobby to wait for the bus. 2 hours, and the bus isn't there yet ! papa was panicking, thinking that we were left by the bus. HAHA, funny papa. when bus came, we headed to KL (: slept slept slept, because i had a little headache. then reached KL around 4 plus. checked in, then went out for shopping at pavillion ! ate carl's junior, then walked walked. then went back hotel. fought with sister, and fell asleep. hehe ! p.s : i missed bby, a lot !

woke up earlier than mama could call again. haha, bathe first ! then, went to packed things a little. then went for breakfast, before we went shopping again. heh, walked around that area only la. then went back hotel before the bus arrive. papa scared kena tinggal, haha. when the bus came, i sat alone again. layan perasaan again, haha. was watching dvd all along. then, after the show finished. i slept and woke up before i reached immigration (: lepas je immigration, i messaged bby. not replying my msg, he called me. hehe, so sweeeeeet ! he called just to hear my voice, and saying that he missed me much XD p.s : i love you bby.

great night (:

2010-12-11T11:51:00.002+08:00

well, yesterday night was just great. haha, we talked a lot. various stuffs, basically about us. LOL, it was hilarious. some were a little bitchy from me, and i swear i was not me yesterday. haha. well, we were talking about 19th. yeah, 2nd date with him. we were planning of what time, and where to meet. so we have decided the time. then he ask where to meet. and i said, ''vivo straight laa. then mane lagi kan.'' haha, and he said ''ohh, ingatkan nak jumpe kat hougang dulu then can go same same. heh.'' LOL, he could just have said that he wanted to go same same. then we were talking about some weird stuffs, in which i wouldnt wanna elaborate. HAHA, it's just something that shall stay between me and him XD then we were talking about what we would do, when we see each other. *smiles* it was all funny yet nice. i cant wait for the 19th, ooh ooh ooh ! how i wished it was tomorrow, grrrrrrrrrr.

anyway, im off from singapore tomorrow. to cameron and KL. i cant wait, to eat carl's junior. yeay ! teeheeheeh. strawberries, here i come (: but but but. i'll miss bby when im there. badly, really badly. 4 - 5 days, lame sey. hmmm, nevermind. then i should look forward to 19th (: but i have to control myself when in KL. gosh, cannot eat so much, later grow fatter. i've shed some fats though, heh. weeeeee. kay kay, i'll update more tomorrow before i go off tomorrow night ;)

kbai.

2010-12-10T21:36:00.000+08:00

laughs

2010-12-09T20:57:00.003+08:00

it has not been so boring. although the days are somehow crawling, it has been a great week. haha, i have been trying out my clothes and yeah. haha, seems a little bored at home so thts the reason. ive been a diligent kid for 2 days already, doing homework and trying to finish it. but i doubt i can. heh. i'l try my best though (: hehe, okay okay. imma go and play with youtube, my favourite website for now. heeeh.

kbai.

its been 2 months already (:

2010-12-09T20:00:00.002+08:00

wow, and little could i believe. haha, ive been looking forward for today. BUT i actually forgot tht today is the 9th, till i actually checked my calendar just now.

so yeah, exactly 2 months ago, we first talked. exactly 2 months ago was also the day i didnt really like him. exactly 2 months ago, i thought he was one annoying guy who keeps on sms - ing me when i didnt want to. heh, but i found myself deeply in love with him now. HAHA, how hilarious can i be. haha, these are my confessions. sorry bby, but seriously. these were what i THOUGHT of you. HAHAHAHA. little did i imagine that we would be what we are now, be where we are right now. and im definitely loving every second of being your ''insertword'' . haha, OMG OMG. so fast ey, 2 months. soon, it'll be 2 years. HAHA, maybe by then .. *thinking* hmmm, heh *clears cloud above head*

bby, it's been a great 2 months. we've had lots of and good and bad times, arguing and making ups. cancelling dates, and making it up for that one funny date. and and and, you made me smile a lot lately. you seem to have something special in you, that can make me fall you again and again and again. thanks b, for all the things you've done. thanks for putting up with all the craps ive given, heh. i hope it'll be a smooth journey after this. you're a listener, you're a friend, you're a best friend, and the best of all, i regard you as a part of me. i love you sayang, and i always will (:

monday ;

2010-12-06T20:04:00.004+08:00

feelings : HAPPY ! :D [ im all smiles. ]

i dont exactly know why, but i feel this small bit of happiness in me. teeheehee. maybe because i have all my loved ones right by my side. perhaps ey. okay okay.

i went for a run this morning, thinking that somehow i can let go of the few things thats stirring my head. and i did. i lost it to the skies, as it blew high high high up. after the run,i felt lighter, not much burden left to hold on. then. went home, bathed and then talked to bby. for a while only, then i started feeling all tired and sleepy. so i decided to fall asleep, and woke up only at 2 plus, nearly 3. heeh. then, when mama came home. he messaged me again. he asked me when i going off for holiday. so i told him. then, we then changed our date's date. haha, we decided to meet on a sunday, the week that im off to cameron. haha, at first i thought maybe i didnt want to. but looking at his sms-es, i thought that maybe .. i could meet up with him on that day, just for the sake of being with him (: hehe.

kay, anyway. yes, as you ALL have read on top. im going to cameron and KL. im going off from sg on sunday night, and it stretches till thursday night. in which i bet that i will reach sg back on friday morning, at 12 am. HAHA. my whole family is going, without my 1st sis though. poor her, she's in camp till friday. so, she cant come along. haha, poor sister. kay kay, i'll update more tomorrow (:

questions ;

2010-12-05T19:57:00.004+08:00

'' would you stay true to me ? '' ;

'' would you not get bored of me ? '' ;

'' would you promise that you'll never leave me ? '' .

these are MY answers to the questions :

'' i would, forever. '' ;

'' i would never. '' ;

'' i promise, because you're so far the best thing that GOD has ever given to me. i love you. '' .

what's your answers ?

i got reminded of you, b.

2010-12-04T19:39:00.002+08:00

i walked into the causeway point cathay's theatre, only to find myself missing you. i got reminded of our first date, when i sat at the seats. and i got reminded of our acts, when i started to feel cold and yearn for a sweater. then i remembered your sweater. and you're all that i think of during the movie. gosh, i realise that i really miss that day, a lot ! *sigh* i wish i could turn time back, for me to go back to that day. i know i cant, so i shall look straight ahead and soon, 23rd dec will be right in front of my eyes (:

know that i love you, always ! kbai.

you're my one and only ;

2010-12-04T09:46:00.002+08:00

thursday night, talking to him, was just great. HAHA, i was asking him what's his wish for his 21st birthday. at first when i asked in the afternoon, he didnt wanna answer. then when i came home at night, and asked him again, he told me. teeheeheeh. b, youre so sweet. how can i not fall for you even more, as days go by ? haha. so, then.we were talking about the various presents he would wanna have. and the first thing he said was, 'err, guitar ?' haha, he wants to replace his current guitar, his ''girlfriend'' of 4 years. HAHA. then i was telling him, ''nevermind, ive got something in mind already to give you.'' and he said, ''what ? guitar ey ?'' AHHA, happy wishing ey b. i got not enough to buy one. kalau 'pakai dulu, bayar kemudian' tu boleh jugak. HAHA. err, so then. we ended the conversation there because i wanted to sleep and he too, because yesterday he had to work.

yesterday, was also a funny day. he was uber random, after i come home from ntuc with mama. suddenly he said, ''i miss you. sho much ): '' HAHA. i was a lil shocked and i just laughed. dont ask why, but i just felt that he was a lil random. of course i missed him too, a lot. so, yesterday. we decided to plan our next date, yeay ! but its still gonna be very far away ): im gonna be busy on the third week, with overseas trip with family and sister's birthday party. then i have trainings the next week, and that week im going out with him. i hope time will pass by real quickly, because i swear i cant wait ! :D

im hungry right now. im cold right now. kbai.

busy busy busy ;

2010-12-02T11:14:00.003+08:00

kay kay. yesterday was like a serious laughter day for me :D i laughed a lot, even for some reasons that are unknown. heh, XD sorry guys if i freaked you out yesterday. teeheeheehh. well, anyway. i've got lots of appointment today. hospital check ups, facial appointment with mama. sound like dang busy ey ? haha, kay kay. thats all ey. im gonna have to prepare stuffs already. so, i'll update again soon (:

kbai.

teman ;

2010-11-30T13:40:00.001+08:00

Kehangatan mentari menyinari pagi

Derusan hujan mendingini panas

Saling mengiring saling melengkapi

Begitulah kudrat illahi

Kehadiranmu teman bagaikan cahaya

Menerangi taman hatiku yg sepi

Jalin kasih mesra kurnia maha esa

Merestui kemesraan ini

*Andai bunga tiada mekar mewangi

Hancurlah harapan unggas menyepi

Andai dikau menghilang dan menyendiri

Ku terapung hilanglah panduan

Bak hujan di tengah hari

Panas menduri bumi...

Begitulah perasaan pabila bayangmu pun tiada

Keikhlasan hatimu menghangatkan jiwa

Kelembutan suaramu menyejukkan bara

Jernih airmatamu lambang ketulusan

Menemaniku dikala kesepian

(ulang *)

Teruslah menyinar mentari pagi

Teruslah menari hujan yg mendingin

Menghijau menyegar menyuburi bumi

Saling menjalin hubungan infiniti.

boriiiiing ;

2010-11-29T09:19:00.003+08:00

im bored. grr, why do i have to be stuck at home ? this is only th first day of th week. and i just have to be SO bored. what can i do now ? i've off my phone due to some reasons tht i myself dont know why. ugh, im down down down down down ~ dont make me wait ler. *sigh* im still bored, grrr. nevermind then. i shall do agility today ! push myself to th max, to allow me to forget things tht make me blow.

kbai.

i miss you, right now.

2010-11-29T09:09:00.001+08:00

boring sunday ;

2010-11-28T15:45:00.002+08:00

grrr, it's sucha boring day. anw, went for lunch date with family at Yio Chu Kang's Sakura. we were like, eating till we drop. haha, durian fest la katekan. wahhahaa. was super full maan ! but yummy for sure ! haha XD then then then. talked to b, but maybe b got a little pissed with me. mmm, sorry b kalau somehow i annoy you. gosh, im sorry b.

anw, i was readind the newspaper this morning. and i came across an article on the buskers at Sentosa. and i suddenly got reminded of b. i remembered on thursday, he said he didnt know what to do after NS. and i also remembered asking him to be a busker at tampines, joining the other buskers there. HAHA XD and then suddenly, i got reminded of thursday again. grrr, i miss tht day. dont you b ? (:

yesterday, b kerje. but we texted lot lot lot. he was pretty fun yesterday. haha, great time he had teasing me, grrr. i love yesterday, especially the time spent entertaining all our nonsense together. haha, how i miss him now. a lot, grrrr. i miss you a lot, b. text me soon kaaay ? ily.

okaay, anw. im starting my homework tomorrow, yeay ! im off to tampines library on wednesday. ooh ooh ooh, i cant wait to meet up with the girls ! heeh, and and and. i needa go and buy new school stuffs. date date date ! quick quick quick.

yes ah. december is coming soon, and there's many plans. there's training, a trip to Cameron Highlands, 2nd sister's birthday party, 2nd date with b. whoaa whoaa whoaa, so many ! can i handle it, with many other homeworks to be done ? grrr, i hope i would be able to *prays hard* but i cant wait for it all to happen ! weee ~

weekends are back ;

2010-11-27T13:31:00.002+08:00

wow, th week has been great. with disappointments, tears, laughters and many other emotions. rich ey ? HAHA XD but it'll end soon. i hope more adventures will come visit me soon ey ? pleaseeeeee.

okay, anyway. im staying home all day today. not going out, no plans. naa-aah. just staying at home today, and being a good girl. heh. woke up at 8 plus today, did normal routine as usual. then, had to help mama peel onions to blend. grrr, and it brought me tears ): haha, and my hands smells of onions still. haha, then i had to clean my room. woaaah, tiring sey. but it's cleaner now, yeay ! then, continue with boring daaay. grrr.

i wanna go photo shoot. take people photo. who wants new photos ?! quick, date me. haha, like seriously. but must find exotic place yourself ah. i only know how to take pictures, dont know any nice places though. any recommendation though ? all are welcome (: LOL. ey, serious eh. i really wanna do this. quick quick, hands itchy le to play with my DSLR camera. *laughs* date me soon ! XD

idk why, but yesterday night i was a little sentimental. haha, i was sms-ing as usual. then suddenly, while talking to tht person, i felt a warm drop of tear trickling down. idk ey, but seriously. *sighs* maybe its true what he said. maybe i am, deeply. badly and frankly. ''ive always regarded you as someone special, more than just friends.'' *lost in thoughts* mmhmm. jyeaah.

diriku hanyalah untukmu

di mataku hanya kamu

:D

2010-11-26T07:52:00.004+08:00

i felt good during the movie yesterday, like seriously. for once, at least, my movie trip was better. th minute we went in, i thought maybe it would be just simple simple. then maybe, nothing much would happen. but, it was great. th moment he held out his hands, i went blank. call me dumb or anything, but i stoned for a second. with unclear mind, i held out my hand too. then only to realise that our fingers interlocked th next minute. it was .. nice. for a while i felt warm in th cold theatre. and maybe secured. for a while, i thought i was in a fantasy world, where 'happily ever after' existed. th first one lasted for quite a short period, only to be replaced by another one till the end of th movie. well, frankly speaking, i thought he was my boyfriend for a day. like real REAL boyf. *smiles* he showed that he really care. he made me fall for him even more. gaah, thanks ey. but seriously, thanks for it all. from th bottom of my heart. *smiles* i love you b.

the [F]s day out (:

2010-11-25T21:22:00.005+08:00

okay, to start off. let me tell you ALL a secret (: a happy one. teeheehee, i went out with bby today ! weeee ~ okay, imma say everything in detail kaay ? teeheehee XD

so, we started the day by sms-ing each other normally. then at 10, i bathed and got ready by 11. i waited for 1115 hours to go out, then i msg-ed him. yeaah, so i reached Dhoby Ghaut exactly at 12 (: punctual me. haha, b arrived late pasal he say ade hal kat rumah. so, i waited for him ler. haha, it was alright (: he came at 1210 hours, or earlier. he found me, easily heh ? haha, then went to walk at Plaza Singapura first. looked around, because i wan on a hunt for bag pack. but, i couldnt find any shop. so, from Plaza Sing we went to orchard by legs. we were talking as we walked. about many things, i may say. haha, about me, him and many other things including his sister getting results today. yeahyeah, PSLE results. alhamdullillah, dapat NA. he was thinking that his sister wouldnt get NA, and was quite shocked when she got NA. HAHA ! bad brother. we had LOTS of laughter while walking. so we went to 313 @ somerset, Ochard Central, the heeren, then many other places (: we looked everywhere for bag. teeheehee, sorry b for making you walk a lot. heeeeh XD

then i couldnt find any suitable bags anywhere. so, we walked to lucky plaza. and before that, he wanted to buy a drink. HAHA, he said this:

fir: you nak air tak ?

me: tak la. you nak, you belilah.

fir: i nak beli yang 2 for 2 dollars tu. jadi i minum satu, the other one you amek.

me: haha, nanti in the end, due due you minum XD

fir: tak la.

[walked to 7-eleven]

[searched for the drinks]

fir: ey, tkde eh yang 2 for 2 dollars tu ?

me: tk nampak jeee.

fir: ape sey 7-11 nii.

me: haha, beli je laa air laen.

[fir walks to the other fridge and bought barley drink]

fir: cepat la, amek satu.

me: tk nak laa. [tries to close the fridge]

fir: cepaaat. eh, nanti tangan i tersepit.

me: haha, dah jom pegi bayar.

[he gives up then]

and i just knew that he likes to force me to eat his sweet. HAHA, anw. then from there we went to bugis by bus. HAHA, it was just a few kilometres away from Plaza Sing. grrr, haha. reached bras basah area, walked to tong seng firs for late lunch. and he paid for it (: thanks b. then, from tong seng, we went to bugis junction to search for bag. then waked around before going to BHG. then he met his kawan. HAHA, 'member ke ?' lol, thats th first thing his friend asked b when his friend saw me XD then they were kind of planning to go out samesame, in which i wasnt really attentively listening to. heeh, then his friend even recommended places to search for bags when he got to know that we were looking for one. hah, thanks anw. so, from there. we went to bugis street, and i found one. we went to several shops before i settled with what i have now (: hah, and b being a gentleman, carried my plastic of bag pack for me. aww, thanks b.

then from bugis, we decided to go walk walk at tampines since it was still dang early. but ! while in the train, he keeps pestering me if i wanna go watch movie. because before that, i saw a poster of megamind, and i told him i havent watch it. haha, and since it was our initial plan, we decided to drop at pasir ris to catch magika. th train ride with b, was great. both trying to act macho by not holding on to the handrails. HAHA, but my act failed. haha, i almost fell, but i regained stability very quickly. teeheehee. so, when we reached pasir ris. we walked to ehub while talking alot. and at the same time, i was sms-ing. he read ALL messages. kaay,maybe because i was the one who let him read it all XD so, we checked out the timings for magika. and realised that there was no timeslot at all ! grr, so in the end. we watched harry potter and the deathly hallows. this time, i paid for the tickets (: he was reluctant to let me pay actually, haha. but i've got student discount. so, its all right. teeheehee, he was shocked when the ticket price was 6 dollars. so then, we went to top up prepaid card forhis sister before going back to the theatre to catch the show.

the movie with him was just great. laughters, shhh-ing ( HAHAHA ! ), and many other stuffs. and yeaah, he 'forced' me again to eat his sweets. HAHA. then i kept quiet while watching the movie. he started fretting, and kept on asking if i was okay. haha XD then he kept on asking if i was cold. then then then. he suddenly held out his hands, but it was too dark for me to see at first. then i just held out my hand too. HAHA, then .. you know i know we know what happened. haha, then halfway through i got cold. then he asked me to take his sweater from his bag. LOL, so i wore it. then he himself got cold. i know when he start to rub his hands for heat. so,i asked and he maintained macho by saying 'sejuk, tapi tkpe laa. tahan jee.' HAHA, konon la tuu. then in the end, i tak sampai hati nak tengok him like that, i started to rub his arms with his sweater. haha, then i asked again if he wants to share the sweater. he said 'takpe. you buat gitu dah tak sejuk dah' then smiles. haha, silence really paint a thousand words between me and him during the movie. haha, at times. i would take secret glance at him, only to see him concentrating much on the show. HAHA, but i know he knows i was looking at him.

so then, after the movie, i had to head home. it was already 1930 hours when we finished the movie. hah, BUT ! it was raining. grr, he offered to take cab. but i didnt want. i know i would cost a lot, so i decided to take the bus home. heeeh, i told him to balek dulu. he say 'nevermind, i send you balek' HAHA, so yeah. he sent me back. and the bus journey was not that quiet either. hah, and the bus just had to breakdown at the traffic light before my busstop. grrr, haha. he was having so much fun when the bus broke down XD haha, once the bus restored, we got down at our busstop and he cab-ed home (: and im home sweet home. yeay !

great day, i bet. thanks b, for the day. thanks for everything we did today. and thanks for not backing out (: haha, yes yes yes. thanks thanks thanks ! i love you b.

you've hurt me, yet again.

2010-11-23T09:42:00.002+08:00

kini ku telah jatuh cinta padamu,

suaramu yang merdu membuat aku rindu

alangkah sedih dan kecewa nya aku,

bila engkau mempermainkan cintaku.

if you ever read this, maybe i'll be gone by then. but i just wanna say everything that i feel. here goes :

th first time we fought, when we first knew each other. i still remembered. but i couldnt remember the details. when we make up, the experience was great. the time spent sms-ing and talking to you was just awesome. you showed that you care, and i like just that. th first time, we wanted to meet. it was nicely planned, but last minute you said you had a family event. so, i arranged another plan to cover up. in the end, you said you event was cancelled. then what ? so i went on with my event instead of ours. next, our second 'outing'. despite the great planning, it was also cancelled because you had jamming. you told me when i was already ready in my clothes. last minute to say it straight. but i was still forgiving, why ?because i know you'll change and because i love you. so, then we talked till night. we chatted about everything under the sun. then came the next 'outing', which was yesterday. you sms-ed me like normal in the morning, only to tell me that THIS is also cancelled because you had to accompany mother to hospital for check-up. it's th third time alrd, bby. THIRD time ! and without fail, all three 'outings' were cancelled. isnt it too much of a coincidence ? but whatever it is. after it was cancelled yesterday. i sms-ed you beribu-ribu kali ! none was replied. ftw were you doing bby ? you could have just said, kalau you tak mawu bebual pe. if you dont want this anymore, you could have just said so. at least then, i'll know and i wont bother you anymore if thats what you want. tapi buat ape main silence game ni ? its damn annoying la sey. i dont know if i should carry on loving you, or should i stop here and change that love to hate ? *crying* all i know is that, im hurt. deep down. and its hard for me to say this, but if by the end of the day. you still play this dumb game. then i have no choice but to say goodbye to you. or maybe you already said so to me, just that i wouldnt wanna realise. kaaay, im done here.

mengharapkan janji setia

namun gelora melanda jiwa

kau mula berubah.

patience.

2010-11-21T20:32:00.004+08:00

to you all you all semua;

thanks ah, i should say. ape ape pun decision korang, aku tak kesah. mmm, yeah. im sick and tired of falling out of friendships too. just this year, dah banyak aku lalui. but ini semua bukan aku mintak. yeah, lets try to change and everything else. whatever it is, i'll just be waiting by my phone. just so that i'll read it the minute i receive it.

anyway, just now in the morning. after my normal routine. ustazah fatimah called me. HAHA, was shocked ! she asked if i could come down to help at en-naeem mosque for the graduation ceremony. so, i went since i had free time. it was fun fun fun ! i met ustazah fatimah before anything else. ate lunch, then she briefed of what to do. i had to be at the sec 4s graduating class registration counter. HAHA, the makciks all very cute. LOL, then before it all started. i had to tolong ustazah sulastri for the decoration. so, blahblahblah. after all of that, i met hanisah ! yay, she finally came (: so, we then settled down at our counters. i sat in between of hanisah and daing aslam. haha, we had fun mending the counter (: we talked. alot ! haha, laugh here and there. i laughed alot, seriously. i even forgot all th tears i shed yesterday. okay next. after we settle all th registration, i had to proceed to help ustazah sulastri handle 6 kids. and i repeat 6. but i felt like i had to handle 40 over kids ! haha, they were all bullying me and hanisah. i wanted to be bad to them la, as i thought i was able to bully them like somehow. heh, but instead i got bullied the worst ! boohoohoo. haha, but they were funny ! and cute. they were danish, syazwan, afiq, faris, musa and anaqin. hah, anakin skywalker XD haha, they were the performers for some play. they did well. syabas ! then me and hanisah played with them after they're done with their performance. they're so funny ! i laughed a lot, again. after they all went home, me and hanisah had to help take down all the decorations. we tore a lot of it, sorry ustazah ! heh, then. had to send th things to office. went there, waited for ustazah. then the guys from the performing group made so much noise, disturbing me and hanisah ): hah, so we waited outside. we didnt want to entertain them. HAHA ! but all i wanted was air con from the office. but i had to stay in th heat, for the sake of not getting kacau. we waited donkey years, before ustazah sulastri came. took pictures, then salam salam (: then went off home ! phew, was dang tired.

then angah ajak go compass point. i went. bought nail polish, then food (: was uber hungry ! hah, bought everything then went home. then reached home, did normal routine. then ate. after eating, chatted with bby on sms because he working today. he said he was hungry. he got no money to makan. poor thing ): haha, he never withdraw money. so, his friend lend dulu. but he said he still not full after eating a packet of rice. like whaaaat ?! HAHA ! nevermind laa. at least, he ate a bit. at least, he's not THAAAAAT hungry anymore. haha, kesian bby.

okay okay. i gotta go. i wanna watch the teevee (: i shall post more tomorrow. anyway, im going out tomorrow (: yay ! and and and, no more cancelling kaaaay babe ? pleaseeeeee. heeeh (:

im the bad one.

2010-11-20T15:01:00.006+08:00

aku seriously dah tak marah korang. why say that aku marah korang ? i said im sorry. and that im willing to change for this friendship. then what ? aku tawu im at fault, for everything thats happening now. i said im sorry through here, and through S. what more ? i know whatever i do now, can never change anything. i know ! but at least, bagi aku peluang untuk tebus every single mistake i did. by doing what you are doing, you arent giving me any chance. aku tawu korang marah kat aku, for being super bitchy and everything else ; to keep it simple.

E, aku tawu kau marah pasal i keep on changing dates, cancelling the previous dates and everything else. but wait. satu, he cancelled it. i myself got to know about it; cume pagi tu je lepas aku siap. second, i didnt wanna go out either, lepas dier bilang aku. but in conclusion, definitely aku tkkan salahkan kau. bc i know you gave sacrifices. thanks a whole bunch. but im really sorry about it all. about everything. i now know that you're hating me for all th pushing aside of you guys and whatsoever not, bc of him and prioritising him instead of my old budds. im sorry for being such an ignorant person. im sorry for being insensitive towards your feelings. i really am. i regret all this.

F, im sorry for not sharing things with you. im sorry for being ignorant to your feelings. im sorry i made you hate me. but the reason i didnt share with you, was because i dont feel comfortable with you. i dont know why, but i just feel that i didnt wanna burden you with whatsoever 'problems' i have. and for that, you've been closer to the people. i know, i was the cause that made you get back closer to them. because i no longer layan you and talk to you that often. kay, i also know that ive hurt you deep down. and i also know that sorry's cant cure it all. but all i can say is, sorry.

S, you've been great. you tried to keep cool even when you're hot deep down. we've been friends for very long. and i know you, you know me. you've helped alot. esp recently, by telling me all that, you helped, sort of. thanks babe. but i know, you're dead angry with me too. i know i know i know. even when you said you werent that mad, i know you shared the same feelings as the rest did. and im sorry to you too. for being ignorant of your feelings. im sorry for every single mistakes i did.

i know, sorry's could not possibly make up for all the things ive done. but im human too. and humans err. im not trying to put the blame on anyone, because i know that it has all started from me. and i also know that i can never force you all to forgive me over something as bad as this. but if so happens that one day, this is all gonna end. i thank you guys for being patient towards me, from the beginning till now. i thank you guys, for trying to understand me even though i know you guys get fed up. thanks too, for giving me a splendid year of 2010. ive been through this, way too much. but i only have myself to blame.

*sighs* im done here. thanks for spending time to read, anw. even if you didnt want to.

i am lost in an unknown world.

2010-11-17T13:22:00.003+08:00

i dont know what i did wrong to her. but i just wanna say, sorry. i hope that she will forgive me, no matter what my mistakes are. she's great, but sometimes she can't understand me and vice versa. but we try our best to complement each other (: im sorry, once again. i really feel bad, that you're cold towards me. i can just say that im sorry.

somehow, i feel that everybody is angry at me. somehow, i feel that im at fault at something, or maybe a lot of things. to whoever that is angry or feels disgusted by how i react these days or even all these while, im terribly sorry. i seriously am. i just everything to be back like normal. i miss all those days when we hanged out together, chatting about anything under the sun. *cries* im terribly sorry people ! seriously. i know i do make mistakes, as i myself am a normal human. kiter semua tak lari dari kesilapan. but at times, i just tend to oversee my mistakes and not realise it. i am sorry to everyone. seriously sorry. maafkan aku kaaay ? please. i miss you guys, a lot ! but i will also not force you guys to. i know its hard, but let's try to make this work together. im willing to do yet anything, to make everything back to it used to be.

anyway, i went out with angah yesterday evening. met her at office, before heading to iluma. yes, i didnt meet him. again ): he cancelled, because friend booked a jamming place, last minute. so, in the end. i decided to meet angah since she asked me to. so, went to eat at tong seng. yummy ! then went for dessert at some shop nearby. also nice nice (: heeeh. ohh, then went carrefour for grocery shopping. HAHA, very funny. then then then, cab-ed home. yay ! then watched tv, before off to sleep. heh.

mum cooked lontong goreng today ! yummy. i likeee. with sambal sotong (: my favourite. teeheehee. haha, today staying at home only. not going anywhere. so i guess, thats mostly all i need to say. have a nice day people !

uhh ohh. .

2010-11-15T20:18:00.003+08:00

ohh ohh ohh. im meeting bby tomorrow. he tak jadi pergi jamming, because his friend tak book. so, we're going out. im kinda nervous, thinking how it might fare tomorrow. im really hoping that it'll all work out ! *fingers crossed and prays* ellynn is accompanying me to meet him. i have to thank her, psl she is willing to teman me. THANK YOU ELLYNN ! iloveyou. teeheehee. oooh oooh oooh. im really nervous. we're meeting at dhoby ghaut mrt station, before proceeding to the cathay to catch megamind. then off for lunch maybe.mmm, yepyep. then after that, we'll just lepak somewhere until time to go home. i need strength ! hah, seriously. i hop everything will be alright. pray for me yaah (: hehe. okaaay okaaay. i just needed to say this. *prays hard* haha, i cant stop saying prayers, hoping that tomorrow would be aye-okay (:

[ ya allah, kau berikan hambamu ini semangat. ]

long distance relationships ;

2010-11-15T08:59:00.000+08:00

[ long distance relationship : an intimate relationship that takes place when the partners are separated by a considerable distance.]

it's not cut out for everyone. definitely a no-no for me. there are a few ways to make it all work. i dont know why im doing all this, but i think i shall just do it. so, here goes ;

Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship.
Do things together.
Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible.
Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers.
Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart.
Avoid the temptation to be controlling.
Try challenging each other.
Talk about your future together.
Remember : things will get better in time.
Avoid jealousy and be trusting.
Be positive
Work towards a balanced relationship between partners
Create your own set of relationship standards that both of you have mutually agreed upon.
Remember that you're still in a relationship.

for that someone i know who experience this, i hope it'll all be okay. (:

another change.

2010-11-14T15:44:00.001+08:00

remember in th previous post, before th on dedicated to ellynn. i said i'll be meeting bby on wednesday. i just realised on friday that th coming wednesday is hari raya haji. HAHAH, even he forgot. busy people la katekan. teeheehee. mmm, so. we were discussing, maybe we put it to tuesday. but then, he said he got jamming ): so i shant disturb the guys day out, thus choosing a date after i come back from seremban. after much consideration, we decided on monday, 22 nov 2010. yes yes yes. but very lambat ey. haha, i want to meet up with him soooooooon ! i cant wait (: teeheehee.

okaay okaay. so, yesterday i didnt go out with bby. i went out with sister, after going out for lunch with mama and papa, at mckenzie rex @ changi. great lunch ! yummy yummy. uhhuh, then went for shopping at JCC, then went home. after that, took a ride from 1st sister to 2nd sister's friend house. had much laughter like we did, in fact even more ! great great. then when i went to hougang point, met amielia ! hoho, i missed her too. set a date soooooon ! teeheehee. yesterday, i waited for bby to msg like tunggu buah tak jatuh jatuh. haha, i missed him that when i wanted to msg-ed him. he msg-ed me first. haha, great minds think alike. teeheehee XD

anw, i told mama that i wanted to take care of a flower plant. mama said okaay, and wanted to go buy tadi. but didnt manage to, because it started raining when we left tampines. nevermind, i'll get my plant soon (: yay, teehehee. i guess thats all.

byeebyee (:

to ellynn.

2010-11-12T21:21:00.000+08:00

ELLYNN ! as your friends, we're trying our best to help. tapi kalau you arent opening up, we can't. kite seriously tak boleh tengok kau sad macam ni. it hurts us too, seeing you this way. i hope you will try to talk to us. we're really hoping that you'll stop being this way. i know how much it hurts, but i know you're strong. come on, you have our backs. you know, kitorang selalu kat sini to offer help with open arms. we're always here to lend you our shoulders to cry on, when there's nobody. *sigh* kitorang pun stress tgk kau macam gini. babe babe babe. i hope you will stay strong untuk mengharungi segala dugaan yang akan kau hadapi. kaaay. you've been through a lot already, we know. but we really hoped that you'll keep on staying strong and go through this in a calm manner. we got your back, seriously. we'll be behind you, in everything you do. no matter what dear. come on, we want the old ellynn back. you are never alone, aites ? we all love you, muchmuch. stay strong kaaay ? talk soon, please. we're worried. once you read this, i hope you'll text us ! we'll be waiting. anytime.

love;

aidha and siti (:

twas great.

2010-11-12T13:36:00.000+08:00

[ love one another and you will be happy. its as simple and as difficult as that - michael luenig ]

okaaay. a week has passed very quickly. it has been a great week, definitely. *smiles* have i told that i was supposed to meet bby tomorrow ? i dont think so. anw, its not happening. haha, seriously. yeaah. we didnt fight or whatsoever la. yesterday, he suddenly sms-ed me. he said that he couldnt make it on saturday last minute, because of some engagement with family. *sad face* i was kinda disappointed, of course. so, i just replied like i didnt want to. heeeh. then, he thought that i was angry. i was, but just a little bit. it has no significance either bby. so, during that time. i tried making other plans also. i decided to ask sister, and she said that i could join her, alongside her friends tomorrow. yay ! BUT, in the end. bby said that the family outing change to sunday. but i made prior changes too. then i told him, and lucky he very understanding. phew. so, we changed to wednesday (: yepyep, just before go to seremban for a wedding ceremony. sorry bby, but i promise that wednesday is definitely is must go ! hehe, plus plus plus. i like the current him. i told that yesterday. and he said 'i tk nk marah marah you lagi.' hehe, i saaaaayang you (:

i have been sick for the few days. flu, sore throat and whatsoever else la. since tuesday. all sister fault, for passing the germs around. but, im feeling much better yesterday. but flu got a little worst today ): but im hoping it'll be alright soon. i cant wait for tomorrow. i wanna go and meet sister's friends again, like the other day. weeee ~

okaaay. i should be done here. shall post again soon. byebye ! (:

ordeal after ordeal.

2010-11-08T20:50:00.000+08:00

well. i just finished facing one challenge with firbby. we fought, yeaah. quite badly. on thurday. before i bid farewell. i cried and cried as hard as i could. and thanks ellynn for helping out ! i appreciate it all, babe (: i managed to pull myself together before going off to malacca. when i get back, i was greeted by his foul mood. somehow, i almost gave up. but ellynn said, 'kau jangan give up dulu ah. see what he has to say dulu. if he doesnt say anyth, then from there you decide.' then, when i came online in th afternoon tadi, he came online too. we talked, and talked. it got better, as we both gave in. i somehow knew, that it would get better. we both said sorry, because i know he was not fully to be blamed. i was partly at fault too.

to firbby:

iloveyou. thanks for being understanding (: you've been a great companion ever since i've known you. thank you for being there when i need you. although a lot of tears have been shed, i just swear you're the best ! i thank god, pasal jumpekan i dengan you. we've been through a lot, seriously. im sorry for my past mistakes. im sorry kalau kadangkadang i annoy the hell out of you. iloveyou, sayang (:

now, im done with this challenge. next, comes this friendship thingy between me and her. GOD, give me strength to overcome this. im weak, and i need you help to over see this. kau yang Maha Esa, Maha penyayang. aku bermohon padamu, ya allah. kau berikanlah petunjuk kepada hambamu ini ya allah.

i really dont want this friendship of almost 5 years, be gone just like that. i really love the friendship, but if thats her permintaan. i justhave to respect her decision. i can never do anyth to stop her from doing what she wants. i have no rights to, thats the only reason why. i dont wanna be seen as someone who controls another person's life. i never want that to happen. tapi itulah ketentuan illahi, aku redha. thats all that i can afford to do right now.

byebye.

cries

2010-11-04T15:29:00.001+08:00

wednesday:

it was aye-okaye. bridging in the morning, and then finished at 1. met siti, and then went home. reached home, talked to him. he asked me to call after i finsh eating. i said, okay. so we talked, talked. but he got angry, because i talked like i didnt want to, and always talked halfway. mmm, but i did that because i didnt want mama to know about us. i did all i could to save th relationship. i didnt want it to finish just like that. mmm, ... but it was all okay after a while. he got back to what he was, in just a few messages (: then he called again after evening prayers. we talked about secondary school, and him in secondary school. very funny ! then we had to hang up because he had to adjourn to an accident area. so, i hurried to hang up. then when he came back already, he called again. we talked about his work pulak. mmm, we talked for half an hour, then he had to go off to take attendance. then this happened ;

him: okay la, i need to go amek attendance.

me: okay okay. bye bye !

him: bye bye jee ?

me: mmuaah !

him: mmuaah jee ?

me: *giggles* abeh you nak ape ?

him: haha, okay okay la. bye bye, mmuaah. love you.

me: heeh, okay okay. love you too.

after he took attendance, he called me again. then we talked again. until we both wanna go to bed. mmm, great night though (:

thursday :

bridging again. mmm, i got damn moody after chemistry. i dont know why. after school, met up with siti and ellynn. didnt talk much. then accompany faiqah for a while. but all i wanted was to go home. so, i gave in to my heart after almost half an hour. then, throughout the bus journey back home, both me and siti me-layan-ing our own thoughts. i didnt want to talk to anybody, at that point of time. i dont know why. then home-d. ate lunch, then watched tv. then when i came online, i saw him. he nudged me first. we talked, but there isnt really much to talk about. then silence. *sigh* then i told him, about my trip to malaysia soon.

me: anw, maybe im going off tonight tawu.

him: go malaysia ?

me: uhhuh.

him: siang nah ?

me: blom confirm, either malam ni, atau besok lepas subuh.

him: okaaay.

me: (:

him: gonna miss you sayang.

me: i'll miss you too, seriously.

and i started crying. real hard, although i know its pathetic. i know that ive kept that for very long, since just now. mmm, ...

yeaah, im going off to malaysia soon. im not sure if its tonight or tomorrow morning. miss me, peeps ! *shy* HAHAHA, i'll be back real soon though (: i need some time out, right now. so, th right place is a place in malaysia (: arwah atok's house. great place, and i wanna go shopping there ! mmm, okaaay okaaay. im done (:

baby, i'll miss you (: i'll miss you too, girlfs ! love you guys manymany. weeee ~

thats the way he is.

2010-10-31T20:18:00.000+08:00

him: bile kite jumpe ? after hari raya haji ey ?

me: hari raya haji tu kan, 3rd week. i kan tkde kat SG. jadi, kite kluar on the 2nd week la (:

him: eh ? haha, means lagi 2 more weeks la ? haha.

me: haha, ah2 laa. laa, maths dah fail keer ?

him: hehe. i baru plan nak botak. hehe, tkpee laa. after jumpe you, then i botak.

me: haha, tkpee la. you nak jadi botak, jadi jee. i tk kesah (: haha, lagi hot. i sukeeeee (:

him: haha, i botak, nanti you maenmaen kepale i. hehe, i tk botak dulu kaay ?

me: salah keer ? hot perr *raises eyebrows*

him: haha. asal i botak, hot laah ?

me: haha, tak laa. sekarang pun you dah hot daaaah (:

him: haha, you nak i botak kerr ? hehe.

me: ikut suke you jee. you kalau nak botak, buat laa. kalau tknk pun tkpee. i like it both ways (:

him: hehe. tapi rambot sekarang pun you tk pernah nampak. takpe laa, i botak kaay ? haha.

me: haha, like i said. i tk kesah. ade rambot kerr tkdee kerr. you tetap you (:

him: haha, okaaay sayang. muax ! ade pompan mane suke laki botak.

me: haha, im not one of them, though (:

him: haha,you suke laki botak ah ni ? hehe.

me: i sukeee ... duedue (:

him: hehe, okaaay.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

me: kite kluar nanti,kite gi library kaaay ? haha.

him: gi lib ? okaaay la.

me: haha, i maenmaen je la bhy. abeh nak gi mane ?

him: haha, i know. mmm. ape kate we go town ? watch movie ? but sblom tu, kite gi makan. nak sayang ?

me: haha, okaaay jgk. tapi provided ade citer la bhy. kalau tkde cite ?

him: mesti ade nye cite. tapi harry potter kluar after hari raya haji. mmm, bilebile i check kaay.

me: haha, tulaa. harry potek kluar lepas hari raya haji. mm, tkpee. nanti i check also (:

him: sayaaaang, hrry potter laa. bukan harry potek. hehe, you gi check laa. you kan kt rumah.

me: ohh, ah2 ey. haha, okaaay jap.

me: you nak tgk cite ape ?

him: anything jee. i blanje (:

me: huh ?! tk nk uh. i feel bad uh.

him: i memang nak blanje you la sayang. on that day, i blanje kaay ?

me: err, mmm. at least lemme chip in, kaaay bhy ? at least a bit.

him: okaaay sayang,can. tapi siket je tawu.

me: bhy, define your siket.

him: haha, around 5 bucks kaaay ?

retarded.

LOL. anyway, my days have been alright. hmm, he's been a great companion. greaaat days spent talking to him, to my sister and parents. went to prawning session yesterday. with sister, sister's friend, sister's friend and boyf and sister's wannabe-boyf. haha, effing hot la seyyy. haha, seriously. he damn joker, LOL. very funny. but he very nice also. wish my sister all the best. he's damn gerek (: haha, all the best ANGAH ! haha.

mmm, tomorrow ive got bridging programme again. but only 1 and 1/2 hour. only 1 lesson; malay. yay, but ive got to go home straight after that. i needa settle lotsa stuff at home.help 1st sister clean her room,while she's away at CDA camp. mmm, then. there are other things to be done too. busy busy busy ! *sighs* okaaay okaaay. its been a long post. i shall post more tomorrow (:

(: i love you. byeebyee !

(:

2010-10-30T09:18:00.000+08:00

me: pulau ubin was greaat ! suke suke suke !

him: ape yang best kt sane ?

me: makcik makcik smue baeeek. heeeh.

him: haha, makcik kt same lawa lawa ?

me: aikk, dengan makcik pun you nak kaah ? haha.

him: naaak laa, haha. taklaa, dorg dah kerepot, takmooo.

[i decided to test him]

me: haha, tapi dorg ade satu anak pompan cantiiiiik skali.

him: tk nk laa.

me: apsaaal tk nk ? hot tawuuu.

him: buat ape ? sekarang hot, nanti dah tue, dah tk hot. haha.

me: ape jee. seriously, cantik la.

him: tk nk laa. sebab i sayangkan satu pompan ni.

me: i tawuuu, your mum !

him: heeh, itu family. pompan lua,i ade sayang.

me: hmmm, okaaay laa.

so this was what made me 'fight' with him. [up next]

me: bhy, why tadi you mcm marah jee kat i ?

him: you patut tawu per, sape i sayang.

me: leeer, itu i tawu. and i bet she loves you as much as you do (:

case settled XD

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him: so amacam results you ?

me: hm, okaaay okaaay jee. tk la baek mane. i fail satu.

him: ohh, tapi overall, you pass kaaan ?

me: yepyep (: tapi tak memuaskan.

him: ohhh, okaaay. ape you tgh buat ?

me: hmm, tgh kena marah ngan my dad, psl results ):

him: rabak ke your dad marah ?

me: tatawu, *cries*

him: your dad marah pun you tak tau kalau rabak ke tak ? mmm, tkpee laa. i tknk ganggu you. nanti you dah okaay, you text i.

me: tklaa bhy, you tk ganggu. cume, i feel that i've disappoint my parents.

him: im sorry you. pasal i, your exams you tak buat brape bagus. for now, you focus on your studies dulu kaay ?pasal i, you tkyah risau.

me: BHY ! you promised once. and now youre gonna break it all and leave ? kaaay, i promise i'll study hard, but dont leave me, please. *cries*

him: i wont leave you. i nak you blaja. pasal kite, tkmo fikir dulu. jangan nangis kaay sayang ?

me: you're like th person who pushes me a little towards success. i should have pushed myself harder to achieve more. youre not at fault la. you gave me strength, you tawu tak.

him: jangan kerana i, you bley blaja. kalau i dah takde ? you tk blaja ? jangan gitu kaay ?

me: jangan cakap gitu, please. kaaay kaaay, i promise i'll work twice as hard, and get good grades. but dont ever say this again. *cries*

him: okaaay. tapi you promote to 4 exp kan ?

me: yepyep.

him: alhamdullillah, okaaay sayang. i know you have your needs, but remember that studies always comes first. okaaay, jangan nanges lagi, kaay ?

me: itu i tawu. (: okaaay okaaay.

him: hehe, feel like hugging you la.

me: haha, i need one (:

him: from who ?

me: YOU ! hahaha.

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okaaay, its been great. on the whole. but. im. boreed. haha, i wanna go out, nobody jio me. ): haha, okaaay okaaay. i gtg. laptop's batt going flat alrd. byeebyee !

im lost.

2010-10-27T18:18:00.000+08:00

i went pulau ubin today. fun fun and more fun (: we cooked lots of stuff. all are very yummy, and we're all very happy. i was having so much fun, but it was all ruined after that. i thought today would be fun, throughout. but, ...

i dont know if i should say that we fought, but its all weird. at first, it was all alright. but then, when i started talking about my trip to ubin, he started acting all weird, his mood was not him and the way he talked ain't the same. and so, i just left it to be like that. i didnt wanna add oil to the fire, ... i dont know la. i dont know whats next in store. i dont want anyth to happen between us. yes, i love him. and yes, im pinning hopes on him. he's been the best, ever. seriously, i have no regrets knowing him. i know, he said 'you abeskan 'O' level you dulu then kiter stead okaaaay ayg ?' i just want it to be all real and not changed, for once.

to superman:

i know you wont ever read this, but i just want to say it all. you've been saying 'i love you's, but i dont know how far it is all true. i hope you really meant what you say, bby. im really hoping that it'll all come true. know that i love you and it will never change. in fact, i'll love you more each day. i once promised that, i'll never leave you for another guy because you're awesome. i'll keep to that promise, even if one day, you'll hate me for some reasons. mmm,

)': im done. byebye.

fuck you, dudeeeee !

2010-10-26T19:42:00.000+08:00

TO THAT SUCKER:

aku cakap baekbaek dengan kau, layan kau baekbaek. tapi ini yang aku dapat in return ? aku tolong saaa, tapi kau kena jugak marah aku. aku TOLONG tawu taaak ? aku TOLONG ! kalau aku tak baek, dah lame aku maki kau saa jantan tak gune. i dont deserve that, fucker. kau ingat kau sorang je ade problem ? that aku kena layan karenah kau when youre in need. and i have to help solve your problem ? ftw saaa. aku dah ade cukup masalah. thanks ah ey, pasal menambah. seriously, i owe you a big thank you *sarcastically*. selame ni aku diam, doesnt mean im a pushover. perangai kalau baek tkpee saaa. memang betul pun she left you, kau dont deserve her. she deserve someone better than a sucker like you. kau ingat aku takut kau gertak aku. sorry ey, tak heran ah bro. you can do whatever you like, i dont give a damn. aku daah tkde pape nak ckp lagi saaa, lebih baek aku blaaah.

*cries* ive got no mood. byebye !

i just needa say it all out, thats all.

2010-10-26T10:07:00.000+08:00

today is yet another holiday for the northstar-ians. yeaah yeaah, promotion day. and yet another boring day at home, alone. hah, im lucky there's an invention called the handphone. weeee, okaaayokaaay. ive got something to say.

to you-know-who:

i wish youre reading this. i dont know if it will knock some sense into you, but i'll try no matter what. look, i dont know what has been going on with you, your life and your surroundings. you wouldnt share things with me, and you just wouldnt stop poking your nose into my affairs. im telling you right now, that i have all the rights to fall for whoever i want, write whatever i want, and do everything i like. you have no right to say anything bad, or even advice me. yes, sometimes your advice does work wonders. but not when i dont need it. youre just bugging me with your nonsense, lad. stop it, siaaa. youre just annoying, but i have to stand it all because youre my friend. i know i know, you may feel hurt through this. but i just needa share this. i could no longer keep it within me. ive been hurt longer, with your attitude. thus, you cant compare your hurt with mine. i hope you'll reflect, and change perhaps. *fingers crossed* i still love you, girlfriend.

thursday; could be another boring day. haha, i wanna play "he's hot" game. LOL, XD i shouldnt have started playing that day, now im stuck to the game. hah. nevermind, i'll just listen to songs right now (: and talk to people online. i cant find people except for him. LOL, thank you for talking to me (:

im off. byebye ! (:

lovely.

2010-10-25T19:23:00.001+08:00

heyhey. im baaaaack ! weeee, checked mark sheet today. i fail two ; A maths and combined humanities ! i dont like. *cries* but imma keep my fingers crossed for the overall results. im really hoping i aint the one pushed down to Normal Academic. fears engulfed me. ):

on saturday, went to karaoke with sister (: wow wow wow ! such a great daaaay, i love it much. sang our hearts out, especially those malay jiwaaaaang songs ! haha, i loike. we didnt bother if it disturbed people. i like to sing ; dua insan - ezad & eva, all the achik spin & nana songs (: i always become the lady and my sister become the guy. my voice too high tosing the guy's part. haha, but great great great fun ! thank you sister. i wanna go again XD

me, sister, dad and mum's convo:

[mum making facebook account]

mum: kenape banyak sangat nak kena fill in ? susah ah.

sister: alaaah, fill je.

me: itu pasal. nak buat, abeh banyak tanye pulak.

mum: biler i habes skola ? 1980, ke 1981, ke .. ?

dad: you tanye i ? mane lah i tawu ? i habes skola cepat.

mum: ahhh, you memang. tak skola, [smiles]

dad: tawu tkpe. [smiles]

me & sister: [laughs]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

he's been a retard, these few days. he made me miss him, like fcuk. hah, by not sms-ing me when he was supposed to. hah, i end up burdening somebody else. thanks ellynn, (: hah, but we managed to get back. he finally showed up, and we talked as per normal again. weee ~ waiting for him to sms me, right now. (:

alrights, thats all. byebye !

TGIF.

2010-10-22T17:09:00.000+08:00

ZH and S [in school, during role play]

ZH: want sex ? [holds S's thighs]

S: dont want. [pushes away ZH's hand]

ZH: want sex or not ? [holds S's thighs]

S: dont want la. [pushes ZH's hands again]

ZH: want sex or not ? [holds S's thighs again]

S: i want go home.

ZH: okaaay. go home then have sex ah ?

[everyone laughs]

S: i want go home ! *walks away*

laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

me and him [sms]

him: asal you tak tawu ? dorang comment ape ?

me: kan dorang tanye 'dier sanggup tunggu kau untuk 2 tahun ? as in dier tk carik perempuan lain keeer ?' i just shrugged, ape i nak jawab ? haha.

him: haha. i mean, i can wait for you. i tak carik lain.

me: haha. so that means that you also CAN carik yang lain, if you want laa kaan ?

him: i ckp, i tk carik lain. tak tawu lak you macam mane.

me: hahahahaha, youre aweeeeesome ! do i have a valid reason to ?

him: awwww, HAHAH. are you for real ?

me: of course, because im awesome ! haha, (:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

anw, today was fun fun fun. school was extremely fun (: i loike. had lotsa laugh, and more laugh. haha, loveeee-d ! talked to manymanymany people today. shafeeqah, and manymanymany more. (: i started to miss china trip, when shafeeqah reminded me of her turn to go there next year. awww, i wanna go again. cikgu, nak student volunteer taaak ? haha. XD muke tak maluuuuuuu.

exams are over (:

2010-10-21T18:10:00.001+08:00

hello (:

*blows off dust* i am baaaaack after years of not posting. heeeh, sorry. but have been busy with papers, exams,books and studying. ive not been dating anyone, but books all this while. ahah, (: anw, its been a great long time since ive posted. got much things to saaaaay !

firstly;

papers were aye-okaaaay. a little disappointing, but im praying hard that it'll all be good. mmm, school is also okaaaaay (:

secondly;

home is the best place to be(: heeeh, well. its been good with my family. love them ttm XD heeeh, they're just greaaaaaat ! mum has been hilarious, dad has been talkative, sister has been open and me. im just me(:

thirdly;

i now have this cute friend, named FIR. hah, he's kinda cute(: he's older than me, but he's understanding, respectful and etc. he's just great. we've been talking lots, but we had a time out after my chemistry paper. we fought, yes. badly. and we fell out, for a while. then we got back after my f&n paper(: at first, it was still a little awkward. but after that, we went baaaack to normal. yes, did i mention he's nice ? yknow, he ask me to focus on my studies first (unlike other guys), and ... hah, he said he wanted me, but i said maybe not now. hah, but he's just greaaaat ! hah, he said he will wait for me. LOL, i wouldnt know how far thats true(:

thats all for now. (: buhhhhhbyeeeeee !

talktalk (;

2010-10-21T17:40:00.000+08:00

conversations that happened these past few days !

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

sister, mum and me

sister: are you still eyeing for samsung galaxy ?

me: *shakes head*

mum: she said dah tk boleh kaaan mase tu ?

sister: apsaaaal pulaaak ?

me: *shrugs shoulder and smile*

mum: entaaaah la. bagus jugaaak, save duit aku.

sister: hah, ah2 ehh.

me: tak nak beli tkpeeee. *smiles again*

5 mins later

sister: ehh. we set a deal la. you get a targeted L1R5, then you can get samsung galaxy.

me: what ?

sister: get 10 for L1R5.

me: *shocked* whaaaaaaaat ?!

sister: cannot uhh ? okaaayokaaay. 15, final offer.

me: errr, maybe can la *smiles*

sister: okaaay, deal ah.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

me and him [sms]

him: you dah makan ?

me: blom. you ?

him: dah. apsaaal you blom ?

me: tengah masak. heeeh, ape you makan ?

him: nasi dengan telor. dengan kicap. haha, ape you masak ? hantar lah kat i sikit. hehe.

me: nasi dengan telor jee ? ahah, kesian nye dier. haha, i masak kari. you nak ehh ? datang amek sendiri ahh(:

him: haha. i datang amek ehh ? ok. you tapao sekarang. i datang tao.

me: eleh. macam berani jeee(:

him: kalau i datang mcm ane ?

me: haha, tatawuuuuuu. hah, macam tawu rumah i jeeee ?

him: you bilang i la. i naek cab, pastu you bayar (;

me: ewaaaaaaah, HAHAHAHA.

*retarded*

over and done.

2010-10-02T20:29:00.000+08:00

[imma say goodbye, sucker]

okaaay. it's over, me and him, is done. yes, he initiated it,through facebook. fuck him, seriously. i didnt do anything, im pissed. i dont wanna say much. byee !

screwmeeeee.

2010-09-23T20:52:00.000+08:00

[sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.]

hmm, after long. i am finally posting again. hah, exams are coming up already. just today, i have manymanymany tests. firstly, english little ironies test. secondly, f&n test for all the topics learnt. then, i had my oral. godd, thats one thing that i screw today. i first gave mrs yong a bad impression of me, by coming late. hah, then i stutter and stutter and stutter. it was really an embarrassing moment sey. hah, and then. after i finished, i waited for faiqah at canteen. as soon as she came down, me and ellynn grabbed her and went to compass point. went to popular first, before heading to McD's for my dinner. then, off home with earpiece stuck in my ears(:

tomorrow, am hanging out with ellynn and faiqah again. at amk, for koi bubble tea. yumms ! i caaant wait. i need new personal photos. hah, random. anw, this saturday. we were supposed to have a hari raya outing with my secondary school mates. but i couldnt make it, because mama wanna go out with auntie to finish up the houses. ugghh, hah. so, im officially not going this saturday with them. smart of me, plan but cant make it. (: hah, i know faiqah is angry that im not going. lol, im sorry.

and and and, i cant for weekends ! sleep in ! wooh, i cant wait. weekends come quick .

had great time.

2010-09-15T21:30:00.000+08:00

[i raised my hopes high enough, for it to shatter into pieces when it was dropped from high ground *cries*]

hello.

im finally back to blogging(: currently, having flu and sneezing like nobodies' business. hah, like seriously. okaay, i have much to story-telling about.

first;
have been hanging out with JULIENORALIS and FAIQAH NURDIYANAH for the past three days. we have been going to the alley at compass point after school, to just sit down, chit chat and talk about stuffs-under-the-sun. it was a whole great fun, and i definitely love the times with them. thanks for the great days, and hope more will come soon(:

second;
there's this guy, who suddenly sms-ed me on monday. we talked and he became my ttm, soon after. ohh,i forgot. his name is shahryzal. he's in camp, so he doesnt reply much of my messages. but i still messaged him. but he never reply me, always. yesterday was one example. i messaged him, waited and waited until i sent another one. he only replied at 9.30 pm and said sorry. i said nevermind, and he called me. we talked otp, and we laughed a lot(: he sound a little awkward, but cute. hah, XD then after 10 mins, i told him that it was too noisy. he said 'tkpee. i letak dulu, then i call you balik nanti. okaay bby?' i just agreed and waited till 11. but he didnt call still. retarded. so i sms-ed him, and went off to sleep. today, i messaged, langsung tk reply. out of four, not even one did he reply. aku rinddduu, tapi entaaahla. i guess, i should just stick to my one and only. LOL.

third;
(: i am somehow sick and tired of all this that im facing. but i can never do anything. because i know that this is the path that HE has planned for me. at times, im torn between two. i wouldnt know which way to go.neither do i know which action to do. i need someone as a companion, to guide me as we go along life. *sigh* ive got nothing else to say.

done here, byeebyee !

month of celebration (:

2010-09-13T19:02:00.000+08:00

[love is a choice made from moment to moment]

hello. its been long since i last blogged(: hah, okaaay. im boreed. i have nobody to talked to, lotsa homeworks to do ! GOSSH, okaaay.

hari raya was geyrekk seeyy ! hah, fun fun and more fun! i likeee, hah. collected muchmuch already,and i very happy. now that sisters are all working, i get more collection ahh. weee~ hmm, but it has been fun. i wanna go out more, to wear more baju kurung ! (: okaay, now wanna do homework.

byeebyee !

smiles (:

2010-09-08T10:56:00.000+08:00

[somewhere there must one Made for this soul, to move it]

im finally posting ater long. hah, im having school holidays currently. but still, i have not much time to actually come online and post up current situation. hmm, so. life has been pretty boring. but house meriah semacam. maklumlah, raya dah dekat ni. heh, hmm. well, anw. i have changed phone to E72. well, was supposed to get samsung galaxy,but mum wants a good result for EOY before i can get that phone. yelaa, handphone mahal seyy. ahah, but nevermind.

next,im going out later. with ellynn(: first to bugis, to get my watch. then, to geylang. go walkwalk there, and seesee looklook. hah, okaaay. i have nothing much else to post. okaayokaay. byeebyee !

mr right.

2010-08-30T21:16:00.000+08:00

[...when you find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you back when you hang up on him; who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat; or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead; who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats; who holds your hand in front of his friends; and who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. It's that special guys who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... the one who turns to his friends and says, "thats her"...]

hmmm, how i wished i had one(:

i just wished you would do just that.

2010-08-28T21:02:00.002+08:00

[nothing hurts more then waiting since i don't even know what i'm waiting for anymore]

i can still remember how he was staring me down, when i sat opposite him. i can still remember how he entertained me with his jokes and talks. i can still remember how he first touched me. i still remember the time he sat beside me in the bus, and started talking to me. too bad, it lasted just for a while. you know what, i love you. and it increases each day.

its all happening too fast.

2010-08-27T20:39:00.001+08:00

[ i would be willing to give up my love for you, for the sake of Islam - kuseru namamu kekasih. ]

i just wanna say hello. hah, im bored. i just finished watching something real interesting. its about a priest who answered a muslim's question. betapa berkuasanya Allah s.a.w dalam memberikan hidayah kepada umatnya. (:

byeebyee !

can i say that its over ?

2010-08-26T21:03:00.000+08:00

i was talking to bby smalam, when we were talking about the cubs playing yesterday. he told me that he was selected into the team, but was kicked out. he didnt tell this earlier, but i was fcukingly shocked when i heard. he got chosen, but got kicked out over a funny yet stupid reason. when he told me the reason, i was literally shouting at my phone, even though we were sms-ing each other. LOL, hah. but serious. if he got into the team, i'll definitely be happy for him. hah, maybe i can then get the chance to meet ammirul. eheh, got agenda sebenarnye. JKJK. weee~

bby, you very funny. you shouldnt have done all that laa. you just destroyed your chance to be in the team. i bet you had a great, bright future in the team. but you destroyed it with your own curiousness. hah, you better do what i told you just now ! i swear i'll go after you if you dont. and if you dont, im not gonna talk to you. i know you're trying, and im right here supporting you bby. because i know, not many people knows. hah, (: ily bby <3

hmm, well. we are on talking terms now. im sorry faiqah. i really am. i shouldnt have done this, but well. i could have been a little too harsh, eheh. hah, it was a little awkward when you did what you did. but i kind of thought it was a little hilarious though. hah, thanks babe. if you leave to start it all, it wouldnt be this fast. i would ahve waited for years, before stepping up and apologize. sorry(:

i dont know whats next.

2010-08-25T17:35:00.000+08:00

nowadays, we dont acknowledge each other like we used to. she sees me, i see her. and we walked off. nothing much done. ahah, sometimes i find it funny. but at times, i find it fcukingly annoying. sometimes, i wish i could not think about it and start acting like nothing happened. i salute people who could do just that, even though they are in the wrong. no, seriously. GOSSHH, i wish it's as easy as ABCs. i try my best to stop my thoughts and start thinking seriously about school work. but at times, it voluntarily appeared in my head and no matter what, i will get whatever vision.

to you-know-who-you-are:
i have many things that i needa say. i have kept it within me for a long time. i can never talk face to face, so therefore im writing it here. so before anyth happens, i want you to know all this.

memang kau marah kat kau, about many things actually. one, i think you treat me like nothing. im not asking for anyth much in return, but just more attention. mase kau gadoh dengan dorang, kau cari aku. i tried to help, untuk rapatkan balik your friendship ties with them. lepas kau baik dengan dorang, kau makin rapat dengan dorang,and im mostly cast aside. aku faham, aku baru kenal kau this year. they've known you for three years now. i dont mind that fact. cume, i dont wanna go through another episode for this. i've been through it once, and i never want to go through it once again. two, many a times. bile kite gadoh, aku give in. yes, you said sorry. but i dont see a point whereby you say sorry, lepas tu buat lagi. i dont see a point, my dear. but, i can never say anyth about this too. furthermore, i dont wanna control your life. and i guess, i've said all that i wanted. lastly, i just wanna say thanks for all that we've done together. thanks manymany(:

byeebyee !

i dont give a shit anymore.

2010-08-24T20:09:00.000+08:00

i somehow, cant be bothered anymore. i dont wanna be labelled as someone who nak everything to herself, becaause i AM NOT ! i know, you dont care anything about this. i know, *ehem* means everyth now. but do you ever remember who was there for you when you needed someone ? was it him ? NO, for crying out loud.

im tired, of giving in each time this happens. im tired, although i really love this friendship. im gonna let nature take its course. im not gonna interfere anymore. you lead your life, and i'll lead mine. i give up.

i'll stay away from you, if thats what you want. no matter how much i want it, i cant get it unless we co-oporate to work things out. i can sense that its all gonna be over, like real soon. sooner or later. i mean if its gonna do this to both of us. i suggest that we get this over and done with ... by going our separate ways.

i dont know if you really feel something about this, but i do. whatever's next, i leave it up to god. if its not meant to be, i pray for your well being and thanks for ever being my friend. i no longer have high hopes. i wish you all the best, in whatever you do.

[with bucketful of tears]goodbye. i'll rid myself off from here.

i could die, missing you.

2010-08-22T20:51:00.000+08:00

let me start with friday.

went to school as per normal. during english lesson, azbakiah texted me asking if i wanted to join the break fast that haikal organised. so, i said aye-okaay. so, went home straight after school with shafeeqah. reached home, slept. after waking up then iron clothes and then go out at 1630 hours. i knew i was gonna be late, when haikal texted me when i was at my primary school. ahah, so i texted azbakiah, and met her at paya lebar train station. then met syafiqah, before proceeding to bugis to meet the guys. so, once we reached, i texted haikal. met my sister before meeting haikal and izzat. then, the girls went to banquet to book a place. we sat down, chit chat while waiting for the guys to come. when they came, we sat talking to each other. the girls checked out the food dulu, and bought our food. after that, i bought drinks for everyone before the prayers start to commence. then we ate, silently. nobody talked. then, after finishing the food and filling our stomach. we went on to bussorah street to eat ice-cream. the guys ate ice-cream. the girls were too full to eat anymore. then, haikal bought us all lollipops. THANKS HAIKAL ! then then then, we walked to bugis mrt station before i split with them to meet my sister.

saturday :
morning was aye-okaaay. quite boring. then in the evening, mum and dad brought us to geylang to go the raya bazaar. gerekk ! went shopping for many many many things. saw many people,like riezman khuzaimi and some local actress. ahah, then syahida said she saw me. AHAH, AGAIN. yeaaah.

another day, another way.

2010-08-17T20:27:00.000+08:00

[If, out of time, I could pick one moment and keep it shining, always new, of all the days that I have lived, I'd pick the moment I met you.]

here i am again(: in the midst of doing my f&n, GOSH. damn effing hard. uhh, i damn lazy also. ahah(: fasting month for this year, is ayee-okaay. but however, at times it's stuffy, hot and i can perspire buckets and buckets. but, its all worthwhile. not only can i eat lesser, but i get to eat unusual cooked food at home(: i likee !

school has not been bad. jus now, i had maths test, but its quite easy. maybe imay get full marks, *fingers crossed* ahh, tomorrow i got chemistry test and thursday, english and f&n test ! GOSH, so many common test ! stress stress stress ! ahah, recently. i get all tired before, during and after school. uh, it really disturbs my lesson time, but i try hard to stay awake. i will slap myself,look around the class and at times, try to catch my sleep. eheh, but nobody will know ! thats the best thing.

somehow, i see a small difference in her. but she's still close to them. i dont mind that fact, but i just wished we would be closer. but however, i can never go against fate. if thats what's already witten, i can do nothing except pray that someday it will all be all right. all i can say is, ily bby.

i gotta go and do f&n now,lest it will not be finished ! ahah, so. BYEEBYEE !

<3 aidhaaa.

confused.

2010-08-14T10:59:00.000+08:00

sorry, but i have been busy to be updating my blog. GOSH, okaay.

first up. im just here to sweep all the dusts off my blog. i miss blogger, one thing. ahah, internet have been so boring that i am finding for a new thing to do. (:

secondly, i wanna pour everything out here. actually, thats my main priority. so, here goes:

a lot of things, she banyak keep from me. i dont know why, but i feel the distant relationship now. seriously, i dont want all this to fade away just like that. i mean, she stick to me since the start of the year, due to some reasons. ive been with her, through her ups and downs. and now that her friends are good with her and back to normal, she's back with them with me. i can see that she's much closer to them, and we've not been hanging out much. maybe its just me, but .. i dont know. or maybe we are. im not trying to be protective or whatsoever, but i dont want the relationship to be lost and vanish in thin air. ive been through that, and i never wanna go through it all ever again. but i can never say anything, because i never want to be known as overprotective of you, neither do i wanna be known as whatever you would wanna say. buti just miss those days, of you and me alone. just the both of us. *sigh* i'll still have it all in me.

i guess thats all for now. bleeaah.

CHINA trip updates

2010-06-04T14:11:00.001+08:00

greaaat. i thought i wrote it all and saved it as draft. but its all gone. drats! i hate it. i no longer wanna update. dah basi. bleeeaaah :DDD

2010-05-28T12:07:00.000+08:00

wednesday:
woke up in the morning, feeling like ... haha, well, it was basically my birthday. :DDD yeay, i was feeling absolutely extraordinary. hoho, then went to school as per normal. had green day carnival. cheryl had basically conquered my camera during that period. hah, i only got back my cmera when i wanted to cam-whore with siti, faiqah, azzy and kylynn. :DDD haha, well. they were all playing and bullying me, by writing happy birthday on masking tapes, and pasting it on me and asking me to walk around with it. Mdm Nora saw it, and wished me. LOL, thanks! syahida, hidayah and izzati said i wanted attention by doing so. LOL, weird. hah, then. cheryl wrote a chinese happy birthday and forced me to paste it and never take it out until i go homee. then, i go back class, everyone saw and said happy birthday. :DDD funny funny funny. then then then, after school. went home. then, went for makan session with family at Mak's place. very full, then go homee.

thursday:
woke up early in the morning, feeling like a chef. heh. yes, woke up at 445am todo up my egg-mayo sandwiches. LOL, for the morning breakfast that we were having with the CTs, and Co-CTs. :DDD great great great, the boys were hilarious. as i was going round tpo give out my sandwiches, yeewei they al were wishing me a belated birthday wish. LOL, thanks! then then then, went down to the courtyard and played some games. funfunfun! i loike, heh. uhmm, but very tiring and i was perspiring like mad. the games were hilarious. :DDD after school, went to cp with faiqah, kylynn and siti. lepak for a while, and then played guitar. :DDD siti played, and i sang :DDD then went home. mama ask to go to BIG fairprice buy stuff to bring to China. :DDD bought a few things, then went home. then started to pack some things, and then rested. :DDD

today:
i cant wait for tonight! uhmm, well. i have basically finish putting aside my toiletries, and i am just left with putting it all inside my luggage. hmm, liked. papa asked to settle the OLD computer. eeek, very 'i dont like' and slow! and i have finally finished doing it all after long hours of trying to figure it all out. heh. seriously, i cant wait for tonight! flying off, and all. yeay! :DDD eagerness is filling me to the brim! and so, i will be gone till 4th of June. so, await my updates from China, when i come back later. :DDD heh, will miss my lappy and everything else in the house and in Singapore! heh, :DDD

lots of <3,
aidhaaa

dont miss me too much, ladies and gentlemen. for i will come back soon! :DDD

another day to go.

2010-05-25T18:31:00.000+08:00

friday:
had some talk with Mdm Ellyna. he has been wanting to talk to me for a long time, but it was during the exams period. so she put a hold to it. hmm, then then then, she asked about papers FIRST. i was like 'aye-okayy, i just failed 3 papers. heh.' she said, 'nvm laaa, it's your first try in sec 3. just persevere. :)' hah, i nodded. then she started 'hmm, actually i have been wanting to talk to you for veh long time. but i thought it would all be awkward and not the right time.' i was scared, thinking about what she wants to talk about. then she continued, 'i know you already knew about the captains from someone else, other than me. i am really sorry. i didnt mean to not tell you directly, but i just couldnt find the time. it was all rushing.' then i just burst into tears. can you believe it?! OMG, hah. seriously, she offered me a tissue. then it was hard for me to talk, with me crying on one hand, and with me having sore throat on the other hand. so, i didnt talk much. i just listen to her mostly, and tried my best to stop crying. but it was hard. i told her 'i actually got through it already.' and she said 'thats good, but you're crying and that goes to show that you havent really gotten over it.' i started crying again. hah, veh funneh if i were to think back. then then then, she started saying about when it was the first training with chien huay as captain. she told me everything, and said 'that also goes to show that the team still love you as their leader. trhey didnt want to listen to another person.' i was like 'efff? hah' i started to cry again. LOL. when i finally get a hold of myself, i was supposed to talk. but my voice shaked! damn hard, that most of my voice were not able to come out! hah, very very very funneh.

monday:
maths trail was okay. but, it was super duper terribly hot, that i was sweating buckets and pails. OMG, serious! hah, went to esplanade areaa. got scolded by *ehemehem* then then then, went home at 1. tapao-ed BK home. ate at home :D after that, received message from Mr Shalleh, saying that he posted something online. therefore, i needed to check it ASAP. then then then, kylynn called me. asking me about the cotton on baju that i have been wanting. she said that her COUSIN wanted to buy it, but asked me? i was like 'whaaat?' her cousin want to buy, then ask me? ape angau seyy? hah, then she keeps calling and sms-ing la. but i sensed something was amiss. heh.

tuesday:
morning was okayy. checked mark sheet, and i failed only one: A Maths. D7. hah, well. then then then, had sexuality talk, in which we were laughing like crazy on some inside jokes. LOL. 'pirssuadding', hah. funneh! then then then, had recess. when recess wanted to end, i was surprised by faiqah, kylynn and siti with my advanced birthday present. the cotton on shirt that i have been wanting! AHHHH, i was like. 'OMG, you liar. you say your cousin wanted to buy?!' literally shouting at the top of my voice. :D hah, LOL. THANKS baybehhs! loveee it. after school, met up with kylynn and siti to go buy my tube and siti's camera. of course faiqah went along. then then then, went to compass point first to buy the camera. hah, i accompanied siti la, as usual. the guy entertaining us was supaa hilarious! LOL, funneh! veh cute, but face not very handsome. but cuteee! :D then then then, went AMK hub, and bought the tube. then then then, go walk walk. and went home. at home, mama asked what i wanted for a present. i shrugged, really not knowing what i wanted. then i said, 'a bag?' she said, 'i asked you buy at china kan?' then i was like '[eeeeew!]hah, tgk la.' then i tell her about my sister wanting to buy the NUM bag that costs $159 but she forgot. hah, jyeeah. then she say, 'see la, if tomorrow got time, can go buy.' hah, idk if really will or not. then she asked, 'you want to bawak the bag pergi China is it?' then i was like 'nolaaaaa.' hah, my mum hilarious. :D OMG, i will miss home during China trip.

okay okay. today's a 25th of may. tomorrow's a 26th of may. JYEEEAHH! i cant wait :D

MYE is over.

2010-05-23T16:19:00.000+08:00

well, lotsa has happen. uhmm, i'll slowly tell it out. :D

wednesday:
last paper for MYE. pheww, finally. haha, last paper is done. once paper is submitted, we no longer wanna know about it all. we had fun, with vandalising the board and slapping people's butt. :) then, headed home because all i need then was sleep.

thursday:
no school for the day. then, went for the AMK library with JULIENORALIS :D then, ate at popeyes' before heading home. well, uhhh. night, went to school for the CHINA trip briefing and then home-d at 9. before going home, went to Arnolds' for dinner and i saw DAING. LOL, he works there, and little did i know. :D

friday:
back to school, nothing much done. boring day in school. then, went to tampines area with faiqah, and walked walked walked. otw home, we were all exhausted that both of us fell asleep on the bus. heh :)

saturday:
went out in the evening, to watch Niyang Rapik, very nice show to watch. but sad ending man. ugghh, but scary parts are definitely there without a miss, because it IS a horror movie.but nice la. then went for dinner at Botak's favourites at woodlands. :) nice nice nice! then, home-d.

sunday:
went madrasah, then home-d. but there's still no one at home yet,until now. parents are out, sisters are out. ugghh, sad. anyway, tomorrow there is maths trail at CBD area. mann, hen sian ehh.

anyway, thats all i guess. i will update again soon, baybehh. (:

so many thing happened.

2010-05-08T21:06:00.001+08:00

i loved you for who you are, but all i got was '?'. can i say i hate you now? or should i just leave right now?

okay. exams are around. so definitely nothing much to update.but there are definitely things that really shocked me, like the verdict for yesterday's horror. well, dont dwell on it too much. exams are so much more important, now that main papers are on the way! well, babe. there's so much more to look out for, so dont kill it there. carry on, because life's more than all these. and no thanks for me, because thats what friends are for. hari tu, hari kau. aku tolong. lain kali hari aku, kau tolong plak laa. (: well, thats all i guess. i gotta concentrate more on studies now, shall post more when exams are nearing the end! (:

grrrrreeeaaatt week!

2010-04-29T20:08:00.001+08:00

well. lets start with..

-MONDAY-
hmmm, boring day. haha, planned somehow of what to do the next day for FAIQAH's birthday. HAHA, grreat! after school, went to compass point. lepak a while, ate at banquet and left faiqah with her boyf and i left with siti and alis to hougang mall to buy FAIQAH's birthday present. haha, had a hard time choosing the watch. LOL, then bought her the bangles from cotton on, which she has said she wanted long time ago. LOL:D then, from there, went walking around hougang mall area and then home-d. haha, did some revision for SS test the next day. uhh.

-TUESDAY-
HAAAPPPY BIRTHDAY, my dear FAIQAH! haha, well. met her at econ and passed FAIQAH her birthday present. LOL, she was smiling from ear to ear. then school was normal. at ard 1 plus, eya msg-ed measking what time i release. and i told her to get ready and buy the cake. okayy okayy. after school ends, we rushed to compass point. FAIQAH couldnt stop laughing from school, and kept asking where we were heading to. bising je, hahaha. then, when we reached the block where we always hang out, she was scared like 'whaaat?!' haha, then i say we going compass point meet the rest first la. LOL, then went to the void deck to cut cake because there wasnt going to be any bash ): sadded. LOL, then camera in action, and cake was cut. then, cake was smashed into FAIQAH's face! OMG, that was nice but horrible. she got cake all over her face and hair. and she got her revenge on me? like WTF?! hahaha, but nvm. i just let it be, in fact i even helped her in cleaning her up after the bash-ing. how nice can i be? hahaha. after that, went compass point to hang out with FAIQAH, HAIKEL, MAHATHIR, SYAHRIN, and FAIZ. they were the few people we hanged out with. ate McDonalds, then sat tere, laugh laugh laugh. until FAIZ and SYAHRIN went home and SYAKIR and HAIRUL came. then, went to the mrt there sit sit, and waited till nearly 6 then home-d. :D

-WEDNESDAY-
hmmm, had normal school day. but had biology ASP after school. borringgg! hahah, after ASP, supposed to go home, but was raining damn heavily. so, waited a while, bu rain wasnt gonna subside. therefore, made decisions to just go to cp and take 159. hmm, went with FAIQAH and she went meet boyf, then i home-d. then, went makan with mama, papa, angah, along, cik milah and cik tahar for along birthday! ahha, yummy and very damn full! LOL. then, home-d. and slept, damn tiredd!

-THURSDAY-
normal school day again. borringgg! then, was supposed to have maths ASP, but was cancelled because we were on track. ;) so, after school. went cp with CHERYL, ENRICA, FAIQAH, HUI YEE and FAYE. uhh, then split. e and FAIQAH went library, then went Long John Silver for lunch. yummy, then there's this SUPPA HOT guy, sitting somewheree far from us. but i saw him first. so, the both of us we were like staring, esp me la. (: then, we talked rubbish, esp FAIQAH! hahaha, damn hilarious. cannot replay what happened. but the only thing is, damn funny. we laughed like nobodies' business, i swear. :D

thats all i guess! toodles:)

[i want to be somebody's everything; i want to be somebody's girl. i want to be that person he talks about when he says 'she's my world'.]

one week gone.

2010-04-23T19:51:00.000+08:00

nice to be here again after not being here for four days? LOL, okayy random. anyway lets start with tuesday. normal day, but lesson was quite boring. with hilarious mother tongue to start the day, and 2hrs of maths to end the day. uhhh, LOL. okay, then went home straight after school. (:

then, on wednesday. lessons was a as per normal too! but malay lesson was havoc! cikgu shalleh came into talk to us again, and then cikgu nora was to take over back, but was held up with some matters. then, i accompanied farah tothe toilet after some matters, then when lesson ended, i ACCIDENTALLY screamed out loudly. cikgu nora heard me and said 'FAAIDHA!! sini awak! jangan balik kelas!' then i was like 'alaaah, cikgu. saya kena pegi jumpe cikgu bio saya.' cikgu nora say 'saya kisah ape?! jangan balik kelas!' i was like sheesh laa, fuck la. then i wanted to keep my stuff inside my bag, but before i could cikgu said 'maner faaidha? FAAIDHA!! sini!' i said 'cikgu, saya nak simpan...' cikgu say 'tak payah! SINI!!' i was like freaking out already laa. i scared le lor. thn she said 'YANG LAIN, keluar! KELUAR, sekarang!' she screamed like superr scary laa. then after everyone shoo, she suddenly talked to me nicely. i was shocked. 'cikgu bukan nak martah awak, cuma nak tahu pasal seperkara.' haha, when i answered her, my voice shaked like nobodies' business! hahahaha, cikgu nii buat saya terkeju je. boleh mati kejung tau! LOL. after that, i had netball training. so, ran ran ran around the school, up and down the stairs like 'HAPPY'. not. LOL, haha. then, finish training at 6 (:

on thursday. normal school day, still boring! haha, after school, hanged out with faiqah at library for a while. i wanted to borrow a book, boring maa. then then then, met siti to go hougang mall to buy the friendship band (: and then, went home and did some last minute study for chemistry. (:and oh yes, i saw baihakki and norfa! all hysterical, laughinf like nobodies' business. haha, everyone looking at us lor. MALU siaa. lol, faiqah was the worst at screaming, i was the worst at laughing. hahaha, sumpahhh. very funny!

today, was boring. lessons end at 11, due to the speech day that was held in the evening. so, after school, went home. otw home, met izzat but didnt tegur him. so, i sumbat my ear with MP3. haha, then suddenly i felt somebody tapping me on my shoulders. then i turn around, and saw izzat wanting to talk to me. 'kau nak gi maner?' i said, 'baliklah. nanti kena balik skola, ade speech day. aku audience pehh.' haha, then he said 'ohh ah2 ehh. LOL, aku luper.' i said, 'kau pun audience kan?' 'ah2. (:' then i was like smiling laa. then i ask him 'apsal kau tolak offer untuk jadi the emcee for the event seyy? sedih seyy.once in a lifetime chance seyy, kau lepaskan mcm tu je.' then he say, 'alaah, aku malas laa nak buat. aku malas laa' haha, funny izzat. then we separated and i said 'oklaa. aku jumpe kau nanti!' smiles exchanged and i went off. (: then speech day was gone through with laughters in the hall, with zhen hong, marc, enrica and me! hahaha, funny.

faiqah: you shall just wait for your bash on tuesday laa. my dear, i hope you'll have fun on the day. well, afterall, its your birthday. i have told hairul, and news have been spread from him, and the rest. so, therefore you better be nice to me and the rest lest it'll be worst than what have been planned! nyeehhehehe. habes laa kau. LOL.

uhhh.

2010-04-19T17:41:00.000+08:00

okayy, well. lets start with what happened tosay, this morning. well, last minute study for maths ST was done before meeting siti to go to school with her. then, asked her some questions on maths again, and then talked talked and talked about school, life and so on. LOL, i know random. then met faiqah and eya at econ, as usual. then, gave her her monthsary present and stuff. and hairul gave her the present in front of us. awww, haha. me and eya was superr jealous that we said 'aku stead ngan kau la. dorang nii, aku tengok. aku jealous uhh.' haha, LOL. then i said ' okay okay. set uhh!' haha, then faiqah said 'korang nak stead, on 27 april uhh.' then eya tanye, 'apsal plak?' then i say, 'because her birthday maa'. hahahaha. :D then then, she also gave hairul the chocolate thats like abit cheapo. haha, but big laa. how know, its because i bought it for her. LOL.

lesson was similar to previous weeks, except for chemistry. it was exceptionally boring! haha, maybe because i didnt like to do practical. LOL. and mother tongue was a scolding session by cikgu shalleh to most of us, because of the administration matters for the China trip. and then, after school. i stayed back for a while to teman faiqah before she go for her drama practice. haha, she has to stay back until 7. poor her. so, we went to the toilet to kindof hang out la. then she opened up her present from hairul. she was so excited gilerr that she screamed upon knowing that it was what she has been wanting. a pink earphones, NICE! she said she wanted to cry, but i told her dont. then after that, i said 'kau nak nangis, nangis jelaa.' :D haha, what a great boyf she has. how i wished i had one too, right now. how i wish i was just like them. its all wishes, but i wouldnt know if they would come true. i hope it does. thats the reason why i envy them. uhhh, nevermind.

thats all la. i gotta go and read up my malay book until habes y'know. haha, nice to read. :D toodles.

2.4km run.

2010-04-15T21:09:00.000+08:00

LOL, yes. 2.4km run is over and done with. well, was hoping that it wouldbe postponed at first, but after that, was praying that it would come and we would do it. and then, since my class was the first batch to actually run, we were like 'oooh! lets do it yeaahh!' haha, then we all went runningg. haha, hairul, syakir, sharin, salehin and the others were all siting at the edge, saying 'ahhh. go riun run run!' haha, kekek siott. LOL, okok. then run run run. felt kind of tired once we were outside school compound. so stopped, the run another long distance and stopped again. then ran all the way with cheryl, and when reached school, saw the guys againn. haha, sharin was saying 'go aidha!' loudly, and i was like yikes! i wanted to ask them shhh but, had no more energy t do so. LOL, reaching the last sprint, i sprinted all my lungs out and the guys agaiin, were 'ahhh, go go go aidha!' i was like 'shut up laa' of course i didnt say it out loud, but yeaah. haha. LOL, was 59 in position. at least i improved rather than 100++ last year! OMG, that's a big gap difference. hahahaha(:

anyway, had oral this afternoon. LOL, had the hardest topic of all! OMG, and 'zaki, you're so lame in disturbing me with izzat. and like WTF laa. i dont even fancy him lorr. puhhlease, even if i do, i wouldnt want.' LOL, so therefore, nothing is going on between me and him. pleasee. haha, dont anyhow say okok? i dont like it. anyway, after oral, went tomeet yani at hougang mall. faiqah teman me, and ate at LJS. haha, again. i missed her so much. she came with another guy laa. she say her friend friom mendaki. LOL, he was like staring me down when i was talking. i was scared to my wits mann. i was like 'whats wrong with him seyy?' like haha, even faiqah said so. haha, so i wast the only one. (: LOL, anyway. whatever it is,i really missed yani! haha, anyway. random!

okok, thats all i guess. (: nights peepos!

sorry

2010-04-09T20:52:00.000+08:00

its been long since i last wrote here. OMG, i missed writing on blog. HAHA, but too bad i've been busy with school you see. uhh, tests and homewroks are doing me crazy. AHHHHH! i feel like screaming into the free space and let it all go. with friends pushing and other factors, i feel stressed out. haha, but at least i still have a friend right by me, sticking through thick and thin. haha, at least she still layan me even though she already has a boyfriend. LOL, i told her before that i envied her and her boyf. haha, and she asked why. i said, because of their closeness and y'know. haha, i wished i was like them. i wished i had a boyf. hah, random me :D

anw, i have been hanging out with faiqah and her boyf's gang. LOL, it was awkward at first, but it became all nice after that. the group consists of faiqah, hairul, syakir, danial, salehin, shahrin, haikel, sahira, and ... got anymore? idk laa. HAHA, okok. they are all fun and funny people. (: great to be with them. AHHA, ookk.

i guess, im donee here. i've spoke quite a lot. (: i've become a chatterbox, within a few weeks. AHHHH! LOL, okok. <3 looovees.

bac from camp :D

2010-03-13T11:36:00.000+08:00

back from camp. was definitely fun, and tiring of course. okay, let me do the talking then :D

DAY 1

woke up as per normal, then bathed and last bag check was done. once everything was checked and packed, called siti to ask if she was ready. she said ok, and i went down to wait for her at busstop. when bus came, she havent come so i just boarded the bus (scared late ma). haha, was already raining when going to school. so, walked quickly to avoid being wet. had to assemble at class due to wet weather. was tired, so had this penat face. while waiting for instructors to come and to go off to Jalan Bahtera Adventure Camp(JBAC), did some resting on the table. so, found out that my group's instructor was Atiqah. my group can be counted as the boring group and that my group like un-supporting kind. haha, but we'll see. :) then at around 9.30am we boarded the bus to go to JBAC. the trip there was quiet at first, but it became loud when we were almost reaching. haha, this person like this person laa, and so on. then got one part, i got involved in the whole thing. "AIDHA LIKE SHAUN! whoo!" i was like WHAAAT?! i just hppen to keep on disturbing aneesa with shaun. and in the end, i got back my medicine. haha, veh funny though. then, once we reahed, we checked out the bunks. was among the guys bunks. so basically, lots of show :) after unpacking some stuffs, went for out first lunch. yummy, i guess. haha, well aye-okay for the first lunch. cheer, cheer and cheer then eat, eat and eat. after that, changed into track pants and went for out first high elements briefing and also the courses. fun fun fun, but scary scary scary. but the malay girls didnt do the courses on the first day. there wasnt much time for everyone to do. that was one of the reasons. blah blah blah, then went for wash up. basically, same things happen in camps,where people hogged the cubicles for a long time, causing the rest to have very little time to bathe. at least me and faiqah got a little time to at least wash ourselves. like syahida and hidayah, they didnt. but, its ok. dinner as alright. all tired so didnt talk much. after dinner, played 'KIDNAPPED'. vanessa was kidnapped so we had to go find for her. LOL, kecoh laa. haha. after the game, we got out lights off. didnt and cant sleep at first. me and aneesa was talking about lots of stuffs. guys and so on. then, slept bc veh tired already.

DAY 2

Trebuchet MS;">woke up damn early, thought got morning duty. haha, we bathed at 530am plus plus. didnt bathe though. water damn cold, and furthermore i bathed the night before le. after that, sat there and chit chat. then, got to know that we didt have any duty that day. was pissed off, because we had to ake up so early then in the end, no duty. aiyaa, nevermind. then, we had breakfast. after that, started onthe high elements course. didnt do also, bc no time again. then after the first CRC, we had our field cooking. ate maggi. but conflicts arised. well,i dont wanna say the details. let's just keep it between those who know. then, after that. continued with low elements. did some things that may break my hands. haha, but okay. there's one thing though that really shocked me! well, was supporting this guy named ________, then he's gonna fall. then there's only me on my side. then, he just grabbed on me and touched my *toot*. LOL, izzati said 'lucky dier tak grab kaunye tuu'. hahaha, funny funny, but pain. hard impact bc he pressed on it. LOLLOL. then, had our wash up. after that, had dinner. then campfire. was fun fun. performance was rabak but had fun! rawr rawr. then watched some electro dancing by syakir, NICE NICE! and yvonne did modern dance, NICE NICE! haha, basically. at last, chief charles talked about some of his life stories, hard impact on us. me and faiqah cried. LOL. idk why. then head off to bunks. slept straight away bc was superr tired.

DAY 3

well, packed bags. brought bags to the parade square and headed for breakfast. yummy yummy! then, had some area cleaning. had to clean the staff toilets and the campfire area. toilet was not that dirty, but had some obscene areas. LOL. then, after cleaning. had some talk with ms lim puay ee. after that, before we go off from JBAC, chief charles and chief joel had some auction time. LOL, funny funny. then went off from JBAC and reached school ard 12pm. then, mr thong had us to give some thoughts about JBAC and said goodbye to atiqah and aisyah. byebye! then mr thong said that ms lim actually had commented on me during the camp, for being able to know when to talk what and do what. LOL, was shocked! haha, anyway, after come back home. slept for 5 hours straight, from 2pm till 7pm. then woke up to pray. then, 2 hours later. slept again for 12 hours till today at 945pm. haha.

would like to thank for the various moments of fun to those who have been with me. faiqah, great companion. aneesa, you too. and for syahida, hidayah and izzati, thank you to you too!

another day, another burden.

2010-03-02T20:23:00.000+08:00

tanpa dia, malam menemaniku

malam memelukku

bulan, jangan biar siang

biarkan alam jadi kelam

sepertiku.

- Imaan : movie 'SEPI'

nothing much to update on. well, life has bee pretty boring. ohh yeaa, mama scolded for having a high bill for handphone. HAHA, well. yeaa, have changed now. never sms-ed people alot liao lor. well, i have nothing to say le. am tired after doing geog portfolio. pheeww, lucky finish alrd. want to buy a lot of things tmr. :D

you broke me inside.

2010-02-27T20:55:00.000+08:00

that girl lights up of a poster

that girl isnt dumb they say

that girl is a gun to my holster

she's running through my mind all day.

- IYAZ : replay.

ok, days are passing by just nicely. not too slow and not too fast. ok, maybe a bit too fast. i am losing all that i have. not physical stufs, but in fact mentally. inside my head, i feel like i lost many. but i cant seem to find what it is. still searching for it. ugghh!

i have nothing much to say. i needa do the coursework and some geog assignments, but here i am. still heree. i am lazy to do it, but i'll do it all tomorrow. :) haha, feel lazy to go madrasah tomorrow, but have to go y'know. ugghh, hatee it!

shall stop heree. :) byebye!

2010-02-23T16:38:00.000+08:00

well, school has been a-okay. nothing much to talk about, though.

but today i got to know that i was not the captain of the team. chien huay is the captain and li ying is the vice-captain. i got to know from li ying herself. i cant be around in training today and tomorrow, due to some unforeseen reasons. therefore, li ying told me all about it.yes, i cried at the spot. and yes, i am upset about the choice and decision. i thought that big possibility, i would be the captain of the team. but the hopes came crashing down. i really thought i could get it, i mean i helped in all areas and did and showed my best. but i still didnt get it. why? i want to know the reason why, but i lacked the courage to ask. i am partly disappointed in myself and i am still upset. urrghh! i no longer want to talk about this. thinking about it only, already makes me shed some tears. i dont want it to be something that bothers me. but i know it will.

i hate myself for being me.

start of a new..

2010-02-17T17:01:00.000+08:00

shawty's like a melody

in my head that i cant keep out

got me singing like

na na na na everyday,

like my ipod's stuck on replay.

- IYAZ : replay

okay. basically, the first day of school after a long weekend was absolutely ... boring! OMG, i felt superr sleepy in class, esp during english lesson and also part of A. Maths lesson. haha, but biology lesson is quite a good start for the day. got my back the second class test, and yet another full marks! my second biology class test with full marks! yes, efforts are superr paid off. *wink* i loike. i very happy can? haha, hope i can maintain it and score full marks all the wayy! woooh. sheesh, tomorrow i've got geogrphy test. dk if can make it or not. dangg.

and plus, tomorrow is also my dad's birthday. and we still havent thought of what to buy for him. all his things are basically quite brand new. i thought of buying him a new belt, but i dont know laa. connfuseed! okayokay, not many things to post. have to go away and do my F&N stuffs.tmr, alot of things are going to happen! OMG, i'm so scared for geog test tmr. i hope i'll pass. hopefully. *fingers crossed*

thats all thenn. :D bbye!

holidays are over.

2010-02-16T18:28:00.000+08:00

you'll have to cry me out

the tears that i'll fall

means nothing at all

it's time to get over yourself.

-cry me out : pixie lott

holidays are going to be over soon. really, tomorrow will be the start of a school day. *sian* LOL, well. the past days quite well spent. for example, yesterday i had a cycling session with SITI ard hougang, sengkang and also punggol area. haha, fun but tiring. butt now pain, because the seat of the bike was like as hard as wood. haha, LOL. and plus, we explored many things you see. we became an explorer for a day. :D

well, valentines day was not well spent. well, like i said i didnt spent it with him. somehow, i am upset. i cried too many times that i ran out of them. i can no longer cry even if i want it real hard. there's no more tears. i mean, it's weird laa. by just watching HSM 3 yesterday, also tears can flow down like superr easily. whyy? i dont have a firm reason of crying actually. then, after crying, i would feel superr tired and feel like just sleeping and not doing anything else.

2010-02-11T18:05:00.000+08:00

thursday are always a fun day for me. today is no exceptional. :D well, basically because of F&N lesson. anyway, for my test i scored 26 and a half. i mean,it's okay. at least i passed! but am still not satisfied with the marks and the way i did it. hmm, it's okay. i just have to improved and work harder for the next test. practical was a bit rushing, little time was given. finish only at 2.20pm. met siti at canteen and she asked me to wait for her and go home together. well, talked otw to busstop, about lotsa stuffs. well, i lovee her. she's like my BEST friend, only one that lasted like superr long, since primary 5. OMG, it's been 4-5 years. that's long. i didnt realize until now when i counted. haha, i really didnt. anyway, LOOONG weekends are coming! CNY is around the corner, which is this sunday. this sunday also commemorate Valentine's Day. but am not celebrating again this year. no boyfriend maa. haha, well. basically, i am looking forward to weekends and holidays! i cant wait to sleep in. hee, tired laa you see. everyday must wake up early. :D

haha, am watching Na O Mei now. it's a funny yet romantic show. got some handsome guys, like adi putra and iqram dinzly. i loike! especially adi putra. haha, he so sweet and cute and gorgeous! :D but watching the show, make me feel like wanting to go diving. it's like cool heh. nyeheheh.

anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGGIT! may GOD bless you and wish you all the best in everything you do! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YONG QIN! may you succeed and may GOD bless you too! :D

all about her.

moving on.

crying.

well, [F]s awesome is over.

thats the story.

i just wanted you here.

happy ?

come back to me.

call me !

i love you.

i miss 'best friend'.

break ups.

*kisses*

damn shaaaaaaag.

hug me, pleaseee.

dedicated to dearest boyf (:

ive nothing to saaaaaaay.

*cries*

i miss baby, THAT much.

Janji-Janjimu ~ Aryl Suerylski [with lyrics]

1st week of school ;

love story ;

i'll miss internet.

love ;

i miss my dearest boyf.

dearest ;

wonderfuuuuuuuul ;

*smiles widely*

done with birthday present (:

2nd date with bby (:

back from strawberry land (:

great night (:

*laughs*

its been 2 months already (:

monday ;

questions ;

i got reminded of you, b.

you're my one and only ;

busy busy busy ;

teman ;

boriiiiing ;

i miss you, right now.

boring sunday ;

weekends are back ;

:D

the [F]s day out (:

you've hurt me, yet again.

patience.

im the bad one.

i am lost in an unknown world.

uhh ohh. *.*

long distance relationships ;

another change.

to ellynn.

twas great.

ordeal after ordeal.

*cries*

thats the way he is.

(:

im lost.

fuck you, dudeeeee !

i just needa say it all out, thats all.

lovely.

TGIF.

exams are over (:

talktalk (;

over and done.

screwmeeeee.

had great time.

month of celebration (:

smiles (:

mr right.

i just wished you would do just that.

its all happening too fast.

can i say that its over ?

i dont know whats next.

i dont give a shit anymore.

i could die, missing you.

another day, another way.

confused.

kisses

cries

smiles widely

laughs

uhh ohh. .

cries